The Real Cancun

Jeremy Jazwinski:
I don't have to be "Mr. Personality." I don't have to go up to girls and like buy drinks, you know? 'Cause girls go on spring break to find guys like me.

Alan Taylor:
Most times if I'm in a party, and you know, I kind of feel that left out feeling, I'll go and get like a glass of milk.

David Ingber:
I got to tune this business up.

Jorell Washington:
It don't make no difference. YOU GONNA TAKE IT LIKE I GIVE IT.

Jorell Washington:
Hey, give me some water, dawg. And I'm not talkin about this kind. I'm talking about the tequila.

Alan Taylor:
I just want to see some boobies.

Jeremy Jazwinski:
So you're going to just go to the clubs all week and not drink anything?

Alan Taylor:
I don't know.

Jeremy Jazwinski:
Not anything? Not even a f***ing shot? Don't you ever just feel like sacking up and taking a f***in- a f***in shot, ya know?

Alan Taylor:
Not really.

Jeremy Jazwinski:
It's like a manly thing, ya know? You just take a shot.

Alan Taylor:
I don't know. I've just gone so long without doing it.

Jeremy Jazwinski:
You should just do it and say, "F*** it."

Marquita 'Sky' Marshall:
Wait, he hasn't drunk since he been here?

Casey Weeks:
Any you girls 'round here want to make out or somethin?

Casey Weeks:
Yo dude, my horse is f***ed up, or somethin'.

Paul Malbry:
What kinda d*cks you like?

Marquita 'Sky' Marshall:
What the f***?

Paul Malbry:
What?

Marquita 'Sky' Marshall:
What kind of questions are you asking me?

Marquita 'Sky' Marshall:
Well if you have a little dick, my favorite postions is with another motherf***er.

Jeremy Jazwinski:
Dawg, where should I throw my "bandeezy" on, my f***in arm or my head?

Alan Taylor:
I just want a girl who's right there so I can butt f*** them. Not really "butt f***," but "butt f***-dance f***."

Jorell Washington:
Give me one. Give me one. TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM! I got one in my backpack. You are so lucky today. I only had like two left.

Jorell Washington:
Can I ask a question, though?

Marquita 'Sky' Marshall:
What?

Jorell Washington:
Had he persued you for the whole trip, where would it have got him, honestly?

Alan Taylor:
People used to ask me before, like, you know, "Wow, so have you ever been in love?" because I'm the kind of guy that would love someone. And I'd have to say no, because I've never had that opportunity.

Casey Weeks:
You want to make out?

Casey Weeks:
You know me, I know you- I've got hair on my fingers.

Alan Taylor:
I live here, f***os.

Alan Taylor:
That was impressive 'cause I'm an impressive guy. I'm feeling my nipples.

Matthew Slenske:
Five minutes. Five minutes. Sarah! Five minutes.

Heidi Vance:
Do you know who we have in our hotel right now? We have Snoop Dogg in our hotel right now.

Heidi's Mom:
You have what?

Heidi Vance:
Snoop Dogg.

Heidi's Mom:
A loose dog?

Heidi Vance:
Snoop-- Snoop Dogg.

Heidi's Mom:
What's that?