The Richard Pryor Show

[first lines]

Star Wars Bartender:
Baseball, ugly. Baseball. Remember Hank Aaron? He hit 714. This is the ball he hit it with. Yeah, I know Garbink hit 4000. But he had a laser bat!

[last lines]

Richard Pryor:
Well, good night. See you next week.

[the door of a jail cell closes in front of him]

[first lines]

Black Samurai:
How was that, mama?

[last lines]

Richard Pryor:
[briefly pausing as hounds chase him through the swamp] See you next week. Be cool.

[first lines]

Richard Pryor:
Good evening, ladies and gentleman. My name is Richard Pryor.

NBC Spokesman:
Due to technical difficulties, we cannot continue to bring you the audio portion of "The Richard Pryor Show." However, I am an NBC Spokesman. And I will be happy to tell you what Mr. Pryor is saying. I will now read from tonight's network-approved scripts.

[last lines]

Richard Pryor:
Well, from the looks of things, I'll be seeing you next time. NBC made sure of that. I'm not going anywhere.

[camera pulls back to reveal he's being guarded by a lion]

[first lines]

Hana-Bini Chef:
How you like shrimp? Huh?

Paul Mooney:
[on Pryor] I've known him for a long time. When I met him, the first thing I noticed: he was very bright. Two shades lighter than me. Since that time we've become old and dear friends. I'm very dear to him. He's very old. But he's always been very funny. He was born in Peoria, where half the kids in town call him a superstar these days. The other half call him daddy.

Allegra Allison:
[reading a telegram from Jimmy Carter] Just wanted to tell you that Miss Lillian loves your show. We're putting her in a home in the morning.

Allegra Allison:
[reading a telegram] Dear Richard, thank you for canceling your dates in South Africa. Especially the one with my daughter. Signed Ian Smith.

Tim Reid:
As it has been stated this is the last show: yahoo!

Tim Reid:
Richard is my main man. I mean, uh, he's really, truly a credit to his parents: Sammy Davis Jr. and Miss Jane Pittman.

Tim Reid:
Folks, the ratings weren't too high. As a matter of fact, they were so low for this show, we were beaten out by a documentary on PBS entitled, "The Armadillo: Nature's Little Tank."

Marsha Warfield:
Richard Pryor is a real humanitarian. He's raised a lot of money for young students. In fact, he's paid half the girls at the local high school to keep their mouths shut.

Marsha Warfield:
[on Pryor] I wasn't his type at all. I wasn't beautiful. I wasn't sexy. I wasn't white.

[last lines]

Richard Pryor:
I'd like to thank all people for really enjoying me and making all this possible for me. It wouldn't be possible if it wasn't for you all. And I thank you very much.