The Ringer

Gary:
What? Since when did tard become politically incorrect?

Mark:
I've seen better acting on porno

Steve Barker:
Jeffy just doesn't know what's happening to his body...

Steve Barker:
I can count to potato

Steve Barker:
Can I have a slice of your doody?

Steve Barker:
[to lynn in cafeteria] Can I have a hug?

Billy:
You scratched my CD! You picked it up in pure daylight and you scratched it!

Thomas:
[to Steve] Should I wear my top up [lifts top up]... or down [pulls top down]... or up [pulls top up again]... or possibly... tucked in [tucks in top]

Rudy:
Smooth moove, Ajax.

Michael:
Incredible; that guy is the Deion Sanders of retards.

Billy:
SCRATCH! SCRAAAAAAAAATCH! Oh my stars of the love of Liza. You scratch my C-D!

[repeated line]

Billy:
Oh my-lanta!

Special Olympics Athlete:
You're a faker.

Thomas:
a mother-faker!

Steve Barker:
Jeffy doesn't understand! Jeffy cocoa for cukoo pops, uhh... Jeffy...

Special Olympics Athlete:
Shut up you stupid a-s-s!

Lynn Sheridan:
[to David] Go away, a**hole!

Billy:
[laughs] Lynn said A hole with S's!

Stavi:
Give Mr. Steve a Stavi goodbye. [waves with thumb and pinkie]

Glen:
Hi I'm Glen

Glen:
Guess how many fingers I have?

Gary:
ten

Glen:
no I have eight and two thumbs

Glen:
I work at Burger King.

Glen:
You want fries with that.

Thomas:
I would definitely bring protection.

Glen:
Hey! Guess how many fingers i have.

Steve Barker:
Uhh, 10?

Glen:
No. I have 8 fingers and 2 thumbs! Ha Ha Ha!

Steve Barker:
My name is Lance, and I like nuts!

Thomas:
Goodbye, Hooker Lady!

Winston:
Hey steve, ask me *any* movie.

Steve Barker:
Okay, hmm..."Jaws"

Winston:
That's a good movie.

Billy:
Thomas, get me some water. My throat is parched.

Thomas:
Do you want tap or Evian?

Billy:
I don't know. Surprise me.

Gary:
We need to come up with a slogan. You know, like "Life is like a box of chocolates.", or "Take my hands, boss." like that monster tard off of "Green Mile."

Thomas:
This is my doberman candy.

Mark:
Why'd you scratch his C D?

Steve Barker:
Jeffy just admiring it.

Mark:
Do it again and you'll be admiring my butt from the pavement with a straw.

Steve Barker:
...What?

Mark:
You heard me!

Steve Barker:
What's in that?

Glen:
Milk, eggs, and meat.

Steve Barker:
What kind of meat?

Glen:
Raw meat!

Steve Barker:
Peter's another name for weaner. [laughs]

Thomas:
[runs over to Jimmy] JIMMY! Can I have you're autograph?

Jimmy:
Get it off eBay!

Thomas:
Who is eBay?

Thomas:
What a cockblock!

Thomas:
I don't want her to know that I like her, I... did you know Christ was a Jew?

Billy:
Oh, Mylanta! You *are* my woman!

David Patrick:
We stopped off for ice cream.

Winston:
When the f*** did we get ice cream?

Glen:
People tell us all the time what we wont ever do. Won't ever read, won't ever have a job, won't ever learn to tie my own shoes, won't ever have a girlfriend. Well I have done all those things.

Mark:
But you can't tie your own shoes.

Winston:
And you never had a girlfwiend.

Glen:
That's right

Glen:
Next time we should go Danish - split it 60/60.

Lynn Sheridan:
You mean 50/50.

Glen:
What, you don't believe in tipping?