The Road Killers

Hauser:
You're lucky I like you.

Cliff:
Who me?

Hauser:
No him!

Cliff:
Oh

Hauser:
I love you... you're my little brother come here and give me a hug... get you're ass over here [Cliff hugs him]

Cliff:
Do you have a family?

Milo:
No sir I don't

Cliff:
Then no one will miss you [shoots Milo]

Cliff:
[Suddenly stops driving the car] I wanna talk about mom

Hauser:
I don't

Cliff:
You said I shot mom, but I distinctly remember I was in the bath tub. So how can I have shot mom if I was in the bathtub? It wasn't me who shot her was it?

Hauser:
Don't look at me like that! I couldn't let her keep on touching you in that way. I covered you, you covered me remember? That was our game!

Cliff:
Our game?

Hauser:
[crying] Our game!

Cliff:
[Forces Tom to stick a shotgun under Hodes chin] Keep those eyes open Sheriff I wanna seen that light go out! I wanna see that head explode.

Cliff:
Goddam Peeping Tom

Sheriff Hodes:
Why Cliffy?

Cliff:
Only heaven knows Sheriff

Hauser:
[on why's in prison] I thumbed arrive from kansas to see my brother, I haven't seen the boy in seventeen years. Sheriff thinks that's not a good idea. Because the last time we were together caused a little bit of a problem... so here I am... till I decide to leave town.

Hauser:
Really wanna get out of those cuffs? What you do is, grab your hand and twist 'til you hear a crack. Slides right through. Only problem is... f*** up your golf game. I used to shoot in the low eighties. Now [practices golf swing, winces at his hand] lucky if I break a hundred.

Cliff:
[after he and Tom shotgun decapitate Hodes] Whoowee Donkeys... that was easy

Jack:
[after they accidently kill his brother, Glen] You're going to jail

Bobby:
Can't go to jail man [hits Jack with a baseball bat]

Tom:
Red... Red... Something's wrong with red

Red:
You hit him too hard this time

[first lines]

Helen:
[lights up a cigarette]

Ashley:
Dad, could you pull over...

Jack:
Why?

Ashley:
I need some air.

Helen:
Oh, Ashley, if it bothers you, you should have told me, I would have waited.

Ashley:
It doesn't bother me, I just can't handle it every three seconds.

Helen:
Well, I don't think I smoke every three seconds.

Cliff:
Bobby, 365 times 12.9...

Bobby:
[confidently] 4,218.5.

Cliff:
That's the damnedest thing. He can't spell bird, but he can add up, he can add up anything. He's one of them, uh, one of them artistic savants.

Tom:
Why'd you put the windshield wipers on?

Red:
'Cause when I was a little girl I used to take piano lessons, and so I like the clicking.

Cliff:
[to overwrought Tom] Every family has their problems.

Cliff:
[over police radio] This is the bad guy, does anybody read me?

Cliff:
Come on you p*ssy!

Jack:
P*ssy? I don't think so...

Cliff:
[sees on coming train]