The Shield

Vic Mackey:
Good cop and bad cop have left for the day. I'm a different kind of cop.

[repeated line]

Holland Wagenbach:
Oh, you've gotta be shittin' me.

Vic Mackey:
Wipe those smiles off your faces ya sh*t heads. You don't score points with me bagging twelve year olds.

Vic Mackey:
Ay, Mo. Your sister's ass really tastes as sweet as Alvarez here says it does? He wants to know what your momma's putting in the corn muffin.

Vic Mackey:
Hi. I'm detective Vic Mackey.

Cop:
These your men?

Vic Mackey:
It depends. What did they do?

Officer:
You guys have anything to declare?

Vic Mackey:
Just that is great to be back in the States.

Claudette Wyms:
Right now Vic Mackey may look like a mighty big catch to you. Do the smart thing, son. Cut bait.

David Aceveda:
It doesn't bother you, the things he does?

Claudette Wyms:
I don't judge other cops.

David Aceveda:
Mackey's not a cop. He's Al Capone with a badge.

Claudette Wyms:
Al Capone made money by giving the people what they wanted. What people want these days is to make it to their cars without getting mugged. Come home from work and see their stereo is still there. Hear about some murder in the barrio, find out the next day the police caught the guy. If having all those things means some cop roughed up some spic or some n*gger in the ghetto... well, as far as most people are concerned it's don't ask, don't tell.

Holland Wagenbach:
[about Vic Mackey] Why does everyone like that a**hole so much?

Claudette Wyms:
The evidence is lacking.

Vic Mackey:
So is Dutchboy's dick but I'm not helping with that.

Shane Vendrell:
It was gonna be a surprise.

Vic Mackey:
It is. A bad one.

Claudette Wyms:
Since when do you speak Spanish?

Holland Wagenbach:
I'm taking a class... I work in Los Angeles. Not knowing the language was limiting me from being the best detective I could be.

Vic Mackey:
Until now I've tolerated you. Come near my men again... I'm gonna lose patience.

Tio:
We're "pregnant".

Vic Mackey:
Maybe it would help to recreate the crime: "Ai, Dios mio. I'm burning.". Hey, hey Smitty. Get these two to the morgue ASAP.

Vic Mackey:
Why are you a better deal for me than Rondell?

Tio:
I don't use my own product. Rondell does. More and more.

Vic Mackey:
What the hell are you doing?

Shane Vendrell:
I'm not doing anything that we weren't doing before. I'm just pumping things up a level.

Vic Mackey:
And what level is that? Prison? [Shane doesn't answer] All right, where's my investment now?

Shane Vendrell:
It's all tied up in the coke shipment.

Vic Mackey:
That coke that had Tio's guy bleeding from every orifice?

Corrine Mackey:
This doesn't happen to other cops' families.

Vic Mackey:
Pack up your sh*t and get on the first donkey back to home.

Shane Vendrell:
The truth is like grits, you can't serve it up plain, you got to put a little salt on it.

Vic Mackey:
Well maybe in your own mind, amigo. But in the real world, I don't answer to you. Not today, not tomorrow, not even on Cinco de Mayo.

Shane Vendrell:
We killed a cop.

Detective Trish George:
[to Vic after arresting a politician with a bag of sex toys] See anything I should take home?

Detective Trish George:
You like Chinese?

Vic Mackey:
Sometimes.

Shane Vendrell:
Sometimes brothers fight.

Mara Sewell:
Why does Vic always treat you like the little brother?

Detective Trish George:
Thanks for making me queen.

Vic Mackey:
Enjoy your kingdom.

Vic Mackey:
[to Connie's sons' foster parents] I'm gonna be checking in on him from time to time. I better like what I see.

Mara Sewell:
[to Vic about Shane] He works with you but he comes home to me.

Holland Wagenbach:
If my tone sounds superior it's because I'm American and you're Greek!

Vic Mackey:
Put your clothes on, get out of here, and change your taste in men.

Shane Vendrell:
So, if I'm a cocksucker...

Ronnie Gardocki:
What do you mean "if"?

[Trish wants Shane to go undercover as a gay hooker]

Shane Vendrell:
[indicating Ronnie and Lem] Why can't one of them do it?

Detective Trish George:
They don't look gay enough.

Vic Mackey:
[to Julien about a suspect] He sees the uniform and runs? He did it.

Julien Lowe:
[to the back-up cops] Vic's out back trying to get him to put the gun down.

Cop:
Hope he doesn't try too hard.

[Shane goes undercover as a gay hooker and comments on a passing truck's wheels]

Detective Trish George:
Looks like our new guy knows a thing or two about rim jobs.

Curtis 'Lemonhead' Lemansky:
[listening in the car] Ha ha... rim jobs.

Claudette Wyms:
How'd the Strike Team do?

Detective Trish George:
They did great.

[indicates Shane]

Detective Trish George:
That one's a naturally born undercover cum guzzler.

Shane Vendrell:
[playfully] Hey, I heard that, b*tch.

Lauren Riley:
They brought us out here because of a song?

Vic Mackey:
Just think of it as quality time.

Vic Mackey:
You still got that boyfriend?

Lauren Riley:
You still got that wife?

Vic Mackey:
No. You still got that boyfriend?

Shane Vendrell:
The list is in a safe, in the Captain's office, in a POLICE STATION.

Lauren Riley:
[dog barks, she puts a flag where the dog is] Body.

[dog barks, she puts a flag where the dog is]

Lauren Riley:
Body.

[dog barks, she puts a flag where the dog is]

Lauren Riley:
Body.

[dog barks, she puts a flag where the dog is]

Lauren Riley:
Body.

[looks at Vic]

Lauren Riley:
I need more flags.

Shane Vendrell:
Can I get your autograph, man?

Vic Mackey:
Yeah, like on a confession?

Singer:
Who are you guys?

Shane Vendrell:
Your biggest fans.

Claudette Wyms:
You gonna be able to handle him?

Vic Mackey:
Oh, yeah. I'll make him sing.

[Vic doesn't do anything and the suspect starts screaming]

Suspect:
Help! Help! HELP!

David Aceveda:
[walks in] What's going on in here?

Vic Mackey:
[confused] Nothing. [Aceveda glares at him] Really.

Holland Wagenbach:
What am I, the Strike Team now?

Claudette Wyms:
What?

Holland Wagenbach:
Well, that sounded like an order.

Claudette Wyms:
No, it wasn't - Do you want to go?

Holland Wagenbach:
Yeah, but it's nice to be asked.

Curtis 'Lemonhead' Lemansky:
[about breaking into the safe] I don't like this.

Vic Mackey:
Well pretend.

Vic Mackey:
Since when did you get an ulcer?

Curtis 'Lemonhead' Lemansky:
Since the Armenian mob started looking for me.

Vic Mackey:
Partner up with a criminal? I can name one flaw in that plan.

Shane Vendrell:
Only one?

Trish:
Better than going home to an empty bed.

Vic Mackey:
Well, I can't help you with that. At least, not tonight.

Vic Mackey:
How's your stomach now?

Curtis 'Lemonhead' Lemansky:
It'll be better when this is done.

Vic Mackey:
Get over it and don't bring it up again.

Vic Mackey:
[Listening to the Armenians] Huh... the Armenians... speak Armenian.

Vic Mackey:
[to the Strike Team] Hey, option one is: we take him alive. But feel free to consider option two.

Holland Wagenbach:
When was the last time you saw your dick without using a mirror?

[Shane and Ronnie are discussing a skin graft on Ronnie's face]

Ronnie Gardocki:
They take skin from your butt...

Shane Vendrell:
These jokes just write themselves.

Holland Wagenbach:
P*ssy said yes plenty.

Vic Mackey:
You better figure out how much you hate me. And how you're going to deal with that. 'Cause I'm not going anywhere.

Claudette Wyms:
Neither am I.

Holland Wagenbach:
You're too young to quit.

Claudette Wyms:
And I'm too old for this sh*t.

Vic Mackey:
I'll never forget what you guys did for me.

Curtis 'Lemonhead' Lemansky:
Don't worry, we won't let you.

Claudette Wyms:
We both know. What happened to Ronnie, that's on you. It's all on you.

[Vic is trying to scare a suspect in a third floor apartment]

Vic Mackey:
Write what I tell you. [Vic puts a notepad and a pen in the suspect's hands] L. I. F. E. New word, new word! S. U. X.

[rips off the page and puts it into the lapel pocket of the suspect's shirt, then leads him towards an open window]

Vic Mackey:
Looks like you're going to die a bad speller.

Vic Mackey:
I don't step aside. I step up.

[when confronting Shane about how the Strike Team could lose their jobs because Shane had lost the drugs they stole when he called in to his girlfriend's house to get laid]

Curtis 'Lemonhead' Lemansky:
We're gonna all crash and burn because of you! I mean, Christ, dude, Amy's not even that hot!

Taylor:
Are you gonna hold this third strike over me for the rest of my life?

Vic Mackey:
I could lie to you. But I have far too much respect for you as a person. Yes I am!

Jojo Rizal:
[to Shane] Hey, man, ya cock's out!

[Shane immediately looks down at his pants before realizing that the cockerel in the club house has run away]

Antwon Mitchell:
From now on, when I say, "Suck my dick", you say, "You want me to lick your balls, Daddy?"

Vic Mackey:
[to guy selling stuff out of his car] You having a sidewalk sale and didn't invite us, Taylor, I thought we was on yo mailing list.

Vic Mackey:
[after he identified Ben Gilroy's body] How'd he die?

Medical Examiner:
Take your pick. Cirrhosis, malnutrition, official cause was suffocation. Aspirated on his own vomit. [looking at a file] Christ, this guy was the Assistant Police Chief? What happened?

Vic Mackey:
Take your pick.

Vic Mackey:
[about Shane's baby, Jackson] Cute kid.

Shane Vendrell:
Thanks. He's got his mother's looks.

Vic Mackey:
Thank God!

Claudette Wyms:
Oooooh. Busting crime one blunt at a time.

David Aceveda:
[a rape victim is being difficult during an interrogation] I'll go play good cop.

Holland Wagenbach:
I've already played good cop!

David Aceveda:
Well, I'll play better cop.

Captain Monica Rawling:
Let me guess - you're either with Vic Mackey or you're against him.

Vic Mackey:
Keeps things simple.

David Aceveda:
You're going to free a murderer so his mob boss can kill him?

Shane Vendrell:
It sounded a lot better the way Vic explained it...

Vic Mackey:
I don't speak ebonics, shithead!

Holland Wagenbach:
Is that a reporter?

Claudette Wyms:
Yeah. Haven't you heard? Our captain's a "Latino to watch".

Holland Wagenbach:
When's someone going to write an article about lanky white guys to watch?

Shane Vendrell:
Eatin' ain't cheatin'.

Shane Vendrell:
Looks like you wandered into the wrong prayer group, Frosty.

Shane Vendrell:
What? You think I speak European hick?

Curtis 'Lemonhead' Lemansky:
Do we have a warrant?

Shane Vendrell:
Just my winning smile!

[suspect vomits from 2nd floor, which hits Billings' shoulder]

Captain Steve Billings:
Sh*t - goddammit, this is a new suit!

Holland Wagenbach:
I am mature and distinguished - a lot of young women appreciate that.

Claudette Wyms:
You really ought to cut back on the porn.

[Kavanaugh offers Aceveda some gum]

David Aceveda:
No, thank you.

Lt. Tom Kavanaugh:
Come on, this is a fresh pack - it's Juicy Fruit.

David Aceveda:
[pause] I said no - thank you.

Lt. Tom Kavanaugh:
You hold it out long enough, some people feel compelled to take the gum. It's a sign they'll crack under pressure.

David Aceveda:
I know.

Holland Wagenbach:
[about Danny's pregnancy] That's Vic's kid. I got 50 bucks in the pool.

Claudette Wyms:
That's funny, I got 50 on you.

Vic Mackey:
[after shooting a dog] Sir, I'm telling you, the kid had no choice. The dog was reaching. It was kill or be killed.

Captain Monica Rawling:
Oh come on, Roy. The dog had a piece, he was gonna use it.

Vic Mackey:
[to Dutch] Just attack it like you're hungry. Like the wolf.

Vic Mackey:
[to witness] A lot of people wanna know what evil looks like.

Shane Vendrell:
So, we cause a triple murder before breakfast, start a race war before dinner - that's uh, that's a pretty good day.

Holland Wagenbach:
My ex wife was a drunk, you think if I hauled her off to happy hour every night, I could have saved my marriage?

Romero:
I'll put my hand on the Bible.

Holland Wagenbach:
Not as much fun as putting your hands on another man's wife.

Vic Mackey:
[leaving interrogation room] Excuse me while I get a Kleenex for the rest of this sob story.

Officer Danielle "Danny" Sofer:
[to Tina] It's b*tches like you that make this job hard for the rest of us.

Holland Wagenbach:
You ever hear of a Canadian super pot?

Vic Mackey:
What, you looking to buy a bag?

[Holland asks Vic's help on a case]

Vic Mackey:
Well, seeing as you and Claudette's Wonder Twin Powers aren't fully activated yet, I'll do you a favor and pick up the slack on this one.

Smitty:
Why are you guys always coming to me with this sh*t?

Vic Mackey:
Because you're the last honest guy we know.

Holland Wagenbach:
If you're so special, how come a lowly civil servant like me just caught you?

Shane Vendrell:
[Trying to provoke Antwon Mitchell in to attacking him so Shane could shoot him in self-defense] You know you got it all don't ya? You got money, you got power, *respect*!

Antwon Mitchell:
Heh, the hillbilly's been listening to my speeches.

Shane Vendrell:
It's too bad about your son though. I tell ya, if my little boy turned out to be a fag, I don't know what I would do. They say you're born that way. Were you doing his mother up the ass when you knocked her up?

Antwon Mitchell:
One time, doing time, for a long time.

Shane Vendrell:
That poor little kid. He's gonna be found face down in the shower with a back-full of shiv and an ass-full of cum. Word hits the street what's that gonna make you look like? I mean, yo people ain't caught in no homo vibe.

Antwon Mitchell:
My people ain't your worry.

Shane Vendrell:
Oh yeah? Well you know what? With all that money, all that power? At the end of the day you're still just a n*gger. With a f*ggot-n*gger son! and where's the respect in that?

Antwon Mitchell:
[Eying Shane's gun in his holster, realizing that Shane is trying to provoke him, he sits back down and handcuffs himself to the table] Now... what were you saying about my n*gger-f*ggot son?

Gang Member:
You got no bullets, cerdo. Or that smoke make you forget?

Vic Mackey:
I got one in the chamber, d*ckhead. Your homies were too stoned to notice. One of you shoots me, my muscle twitch takes out your bad boy here. So, either you or I are gonna leave this basement together, or we're gonna leave this life together. You decide.

Emma Prince:
Why do men think they got all the answers?

vick mackey:
That's a good question.

PBA Rep:
Detective Mackey, we're not done. In spite of this ruling, the final determination is up to the chief. Go to your captain, get her to put in a good word.

Detective Vic Mackey:
I see you're a married man. Is your wife pretty?

PBA Rep:
Beautiful.

Detective Vic Mackey:
Would you mind if I take her to Vegas for a dirty weekend? Ride her ass hard and put her away wet?

PBA Rep:
What?

Detective Vic Mackey:
Now that's 'bout the level of cooperation I can expect from my captain, on anything.

Detective Shane Vendrell:
What is it with you and whores?

Detective Vic Mackey:
Just tryin' to keep 'em from tempting you.

Vic Mackey:
[after Ronnie sneezes] Is there anything you're not allergic to?

Ronnie Gardocki:
Sheet metal.

Suspect:
Id like to see a warrant?

Vic Mackey:
Id like to see Anna Kournikova naked on a waterbed.

Connie Riesler:
[to Vic, explaining why she shot a man] He was acting strange!

Vic Mackey:
So you shot him?

Shane Vendrell:
You'd think driving an Escort would disqualify you from being carjacked.

College Student:
[at the hospital after being asked questions he doesn't want to answer] My father's a lawyer.

Vic Mackey:
Mine's a brick layer. So what?

Vic Mackey:
[after viewing a body badly burned by an explosion] If I ever get that bad, pull the plug with both hands.

Officer Danielle "Danny" Sofer:
[On seeing a badly burned body in a trunk of a car] Coulda used more sunscreen.

Corrine Mackey:
Ah, Matthew thinks he's a dog now.

Detective Vic Mackey:
A german sheperd, so what?

Vic Mackey:
[to David about a reporter] This one will cut your hands off and smile sweetly as she asks you to clap louder.

Detective Vic Mackey:
Ah... you must be Doomsday.

Doomsday:
Who are you?

Detective Vic Mackey:
I'm Armageddon. Say hello to the hounds of hell.

Detective Shane Vendrell:
Ruff.

Officer Danielle "Danny" Sofer:
They want to talk to a captain.

Captain Steve Billings:
And I want more hair.

Ronnie Gardocki:
[He's been told of Vic's immunity agreement and is being taken to jail] You told them... all of it?

Vic Mackey:
Ronnie...

Ronnie Gardocki:
You made a deal for yourself and you're sending me to prison?

Vic Mackey:
I'm sorry. My family, I... I... I thought Corrine...

Ronnie Gardocki:
You're Goddamned SORRY?

Holland Wagenbach:
Process him!

Officer Danielle "Danny" Sofer:
Take him in!

Vic Mackey:
I didn't think I had a choice!

Ronnie Gardocki:
[as he's being hauled away by the police] Well, what about MY Goddamn choice? Where was my Goddamn choice? I was going to run! We were going to run together! God DAMN IT! What about the team? What about protecting the Goddamn team?

Claudette Wyms:
[to Mackey, dismissively] You can go, now.

Holland Wagenbach:
Ronald Everett Gardocki, you're under arrest

Ronnie Gardocki:
For what?

Holland Wagenbach:
The last three years.

Claudette Wyms:
[reading Shane's suicide note] "I guess enough painkillers can make even the worst kind of hurt go away. The thing you need to know is that Mara was innocent, and Jackson was innocent. They didn't know what they were drinking and their last moments together were happy ones. They left the way I first found them, perfect and innocent. They were innocent and they're in Heaven now and we'll always be a family. The guilty ones are me and Vic. Vic led, but I kept following. I don't think one's worse than the other, but we made each other into something worse than our individual selves. I wish I never met him. I see it all now. There's no apologies I can make, no explanations I can give. I was who I was, and I can't be that person anymore. I can't let myself..." [stops reading] We think this is where he was when we came in, because it stops there.

Vic Mackey:
With a body count like this, the Aztecs and Mayans are squabbling about more than who invented the burrito.

Vic Mackey:
[fanning out his car which has overheated] Big chief. Vic needum new driving machine, so he can catchum bad guy.

Officer Danielle "Danny" Sofer:
Knew you had some Spanish. Didn't know you knew smoke signals.

Officer Tina Hanlon:
I hope your syphilitic dick is torn off by rabid dogs and fed to your whore mother! [to Vic Mackey, translating for a female sex trafficker]

Vic Mackey:
Why don't you tickle your balls on your own time?

Vic Mackey:
[Ronnie enters clubhouse and Vic sees Ronnie's dog bite injury] Bite looks bad, how's the bark?

Ronnie Gardocki:
[sighs] Oh I just got my balls chewed off because we went in too quick and undermanned.

Vic Mackey:
Look man I'm sorry. I had no choice.

Ronnie Gardocki:
We all had choices once, and we made them... and now we gotta live with them.

Vic Mackey:
Ronnie, we're gonna get out of this quicksand.

Ronnie Gardocki:
No we're not. Jesus Vic everything we do to get out of this sh*t just drags us down deeper. And hanging with Shane is gonna push our heads under.

Vic Mackey:
We need Shane right now.

Ronnie Gardocki:
I'm sick of walking around half the day smiling at a guy who put a grenade in Lem's lap.

Vic Mackey:
Hey, you know what's at stake here for me.

Ronnie Gardocki:
I do, yeah. But I'm not gonna drown for Shane... or you.

Axl:
[discussing his porn films with Ronnie, Cap'n Claudette, & Julian; to Julian] You know, if you ever get tired of squashing people's civil rights, I can make you some real money

Detective Julien Lowe:
So far this is working out but, if something changes, I'll let you know

Vic Mackey:
You know what you should start eating again man, malnourishment is screwing with your logic.

Lt. Tom Kavanaugh:
Lemansky's going to prison, you need to protect him, you reach out to Antwon Mitchell, for some reason he needs uh, crew leader dead; bad blood / internal beef, whatever, so... you kill him; your end of the deal. He keeps Lem alive, his end of the deal.Hows that logic sound to you?

Vic Mackey:
Let me remind you of a few things you seem to have forgotten; I didn't kill Terry, You've lost your leverage with Lem, and your es-wifes p*ssy... tastes like sweet butter.

Vic Mackey:
Things went south.

Antwon Mitchell:
Very south. Alabama south.

Vic Mackey:
If I would've had all the information going in, we wouldn't be sitting here.

Antwon Mitchell:
Well, here we are. Little blue and his big black puppet.

Vic Mackey:
What the hell are you talking about?

Antwon Mitchell:
Kavanaugh dimed me, man. Told me you were braggin' about playing me against him and protecting Lemansky to sh*t on his deal.

Vic Mackey:
He's just jerking us off. What do you care? He can't get to you in here.

Antwon Mitchell:
No, but he can touch everyone around me. That crazy ass nigga, he initiated a full-scale DOC investigation of this place. The heat is on. And soon, I won't be filling all the comforts of home.

Vic Mackey:
Look... I'll figure out a way to get you your cash; look into this DOC thing.

Antwon Mitchell:
You've done enough. The deal, and this conversation, are over.

Vic Mackey:
Jesus Christ! I took care of that little thing for you! Now... You gonna tell me that doesn't buy Lem some time?

Antwon Mitchell:
That buys you one more dead cop. I've got Niners in every pen in the state. So, wherever he touches down, it will happen, and you can set your watch to that inevitability.

Vic Mackey:
One of your crew so much as hard-looks my guy, MY reach will get YOU shivved!

Antwon Mitchell:
You got a reach like that? So, why're you sittin' here, talking to me, grey boy, huh?

Vic Mackey:
*Vic jumps across the table, tries to attack Antwon, but is pulled away by a Correctional Officer.*

Antwon Mitchell:
It's okay. It's alright. That's just Detective Mackey's way of saying GOODBYE!

Vic Mackey:
Your ex-wife's p*ssy tastes like sweet butter. [to Kavanaugh]

Curtis 'Lemonhead' Lemansky:
[the team is going through documents seized at a bust] I got a bunch of receipts here.

Vic Mackey:
For what?

Curtis 'Lemonhead' Lemansky:
Uh, dry cleaning.

Vic Mackey:
What else?

Curtis 'Lemonhead' Lemansky:
Uh, for thousands of dollars on these oriental rugs.

Ronnie Gardocki:
You don't dry clean oriental rugs! [They all stare at him] My... my mom had some. She made me hand-clean 'em when I was a kid.

Vic Mackey:
[with Shane and Ronnie, looking at Lem's grave] Here's the 21 you deserve. [they all begin shooting 21 rounds into the dirt for a 21 Gun Salute]

Officer Tina Hanlon:
[to Julian, under her breath] You could use some tight-ass lube yourself, Sparky.

Officer Tina Hanlon:
[to Julien, under her breath] You could use some tight-ass lube yourself, Sparky.

Vic Mackey:
You think I'm a cop killer? Maybe I am. You're a cop... right?

Lt. Tom Kavanaugh:
That sounds like a direct threat on my life, detective. You know what that means?

Vic Mackey:
It means you just stepped on to an entirely new playing field. For your sake, I hope you know the rules to the game.

Detective Vic Mackey:
Terry asked me to move him up.

Frances Housely:
He was part of your team.

Detective Vic Mackey:
He wasn't ready for this.

Frances Housely:
Eight years on the force, a stint in Robbery, two commendations... Sounds to me like he was ready.

Detective Vic Mackey:
Strike Team's different.

Frances Housely:
Really?

Detective Vic Mackey:
We knock down the doors other cops don't want to. My guys accept the risks because they know I will take care of them. We go out on a mission, I expect every single one of them to come home. Anything else is unacceptable.

Captain David Aceveda:
In this building, I'm in charge.

Detective Vic Mackey:
Well, maybe in your own mind, amigo. But in the real world, I don't answer to you. Not today, not tomorrow, not even on Cinco de Mayo.

Captain David Aceveda:
Mackey's not a cop. He's Al Capone with a badge.

Agent Olivia Murray:
[after Vic has confessed to every crime he's ever committed in his immunity deal] Do you have any idea what you've done to me?

Detective Vic Mackey:
I've done worse.

Vic Mackey:
During a raid on a drug dealer named Two-Time... I... shot and killed Detective Terry Crowley.

Agent Olivia Murray:
Y-you- you killed a police officer?

Vic Mackey:
I planned it, and I carried it out. I shot him once just below the eye. Our Strike Team was committing criminal acts on a regular basis. At first it was just taking drugs from busts, turning it around, and selling it for profit. We were able to do this by making partnerships with local drug dealers and gangs, you know, that we knew we could leverage.

Agent Olivia Murray:
You son of a b*tch.

Vic Mackey:
I killed Crowley to protect me and my guys. I shot him with Two-Time's gun to divert suspicion, but Aceveda knew. So did Kavanaugh-the I.A.D. Investigator who was after us. They just couldn't prove it. I was too good.

Agent Olivia Murray:
Is that it?

Vic Mackey:
[about the recorder] How much memory does that thing got?

Vic Mackey:
We're gonna find out who did this, and we're gonna kill 'em.

Detective Steve Billings:
Nothing like the smell of underage sexual assault in the morning.

[Claudette stares at him sternly]

Detective Steve Billings:
I didn't mean that the way it came out.

Corrine Mackey:
You be gentle. His sister just died.

Vic Mackey:
I've always been gentle.

Captain Steve Billings:
Hey be careful with that!

Delivery Guy:
Its a vending machine! You put money in, sh*t comes out.

Captain Steve Billings:
It's a gourmet quick mealer a**hole!

Curtis 'Lemonhead' Lemansky:
Can't we just do what we're supposed to do, then stop?

Curtis 'Lemonhead' Lemansky:
[after Shane tricked Lem into doing something] You do that again and I'm gonna kick your redneck ass!

Curtis 'Lemonhead' Lemansky:
How come every piece of ass you hit is more trouble than the last?

Shane Vendrell:
Hey I'm marryin' this girl.

Curtis 'Lemonhead' Lemansky:
Well I'm not. Alright! So unless she's got a p*ssy that cures cancer...[Shane cuts him off]