The Shop Around the Corner

[Alfred Kralik has just been called into his supervisor's office]

Alfred Kralik:
Yes, Mr. Matuschek

Hugo Matuschek:
Eh, close the door. Kralik, why did you put me in that situation, in front of the whole shop?

Alfred Kralik:
Well, I'm very sorry, sir... but it was not my fault.

Hugo Matuschek:
Well whose fault was it? Mine?

Alfred Kralik:
Well... yes.

Klara Novak (Miss Novak):
[In her letter to Alfred]: Oh, my Dear Friend, my heart was trembling as I walked into the post office, and there you were, lying in Box 237. I took you out of your envelope and read you, read you right there.

Alfred Kralik:
There might be a lot we don't know about each other. You know, people seldom go to the trouble of scratching the surface of things to find the inner truth.

Klara Novak (Miss Novak):
Well I really wouldn't care to scratch your surface, Mr. Kralik, because I know exactly what I'd find. Instead of a heart, a hand-bag. Instead of a soul, a suitcase. And instead of an intellect, a cigarette lighter... which doesn't work.

Alfred Kralik:
Flora, take a letter. Ah... To whom it may concern. Mr. Vadas has been in the employ of Matuschek & Company for the last two years, during which he has been very efficient as a stool pigeon, a troublemaker, and a rat.

Ferenc Vadas:
Now look here!

Alfred Kralik:
And if he doesn't clear out of here he's going to get a punch in the nose! Yours very truly, Alfred Kralik, Manager, Matuschek & Company.

Alfred Kralik:
Now if I were a girl and had to choose between a young good-for-nothing with plenty of hair and a good, solid, mature citizen, I'd pick Mathias Popkin every time.

[Alfred Kralik has just disclosed to Klara Novak that he is her anonymous pen pal]

Alfred Kralik:
Are you disappointed?

Klara Novak (Miss Novak):
Psychologically, I'm very confused... But personally, I don't feel bad at all.

Alfred Kralik:
[asking Pirovitch about cost of living for married couple] Suppose a fellow gets an apartment with three rooms. Dining room, bedroom, living room.

Pirovitch:
What do you need three rooms for? You live in the bedroom.

Alfred Kralik:
Where do you eat?

Pirovitch:
In the kitchen. You get a nice big kitchen.

Alfred Kralik:
Where do you entertain?

Pirovitch:
Entertain? What are you, an embassador? Who do you want to entertain? Listen listen, if someone is really your friend, he comes after dinner.

Alfred Kralik:
Pirovitch, did you ever get a bonus?

Pirovitch:
Yes, once.

Alfred Kralik:
Yeah. The boss hands you the envelope. You wonder how much is in it, and you don't want to open it. As long as the envelope's closed, you're a millionaire.

Pepi Katona:
[leaving Mr.Matuschek's room in hospital] Well Doctor, I would say it's a nervous breakdown. What do you think?

Doctor:
It appears to be an acute epileptoid manifestation and a pan phobic melancholiac with indication of a neurasthenia cordus.

Pepi Katona:
Is that more expensive than a nervous breakdown?

Doctor:
Pardon me Mr.Katona? Precisely what position do you hold with Matuschek and Company?

Pepi Katona:
Well, I would describe myself as a contact man. I keep contact between Matuschek and the customers... on a bicycle.

Doctor:
Do you mean, an errand boy?

Pepi Katona:
Doctor, do I call you a pill-peddler?

Klara Novak (Miss Novak):
All my knowledge came from books, and I'd just finished a novel about a glamorous French actress from the Comedie Francaise. That's the theater in France. When she wanted to arouse a man's interest, she treated him like a dog.

Alfred Kralik:
Yes, well, you treated me like a dog.

Klara Novak (Miss Novak):
Yes, but instead of licking my hand, you barked.

Woman Customer:
How much is that belt in the window, the one that says "2.95?"

Alfred Kralik:
$2.95

Woman Customer:
Oh, no! [walks away]

Hugo Matuschek:
[after Miss Novak sells one of the musical cigarette boxes] Well, Mr. Kralik, what do you think now?

Alfred Kralik:
I think people who like to smoke candy and listen to cigarettes will love it.

Pirovitch:
[to Alfred Kralek] He [Mr. Matuschek] picks on me, too. The other day he called me an idiot. What could I do? I said, "Yes, Mr. Matuschek. I'm an idiot." I'm no fool!

Pirovitch:
[spying through the caf? window] There is a cup of coffee on the table. She's taking a piece of cake. Kralik, she's dunking!