The Simpsons: Tapped Out

Homer Simpson:
Lisa! Thank God you're here to guide me through this tutorial.

Lisa Simpson:
What happened?

Homer Simpson:
Difficult to say, sweetie. The town blew up, I built our house and you showed up.

Homer Simpson:
All we know for sure is, I'm completely blameless.

Lisa Simpson:
Hmmm. Maybe if we keep building things, Mom and Bart will show up too.

Homer Simpson:
I'm sure they will. This thing would be way too sad if they didn't.

Lisa Simpson:
Then let's do it. But first, we should clean this place up a bit.

Homer Simpson:
You're joking right?

Homer Simpson:
Cleaning, really? I can't believe that's what passes for fun in games these days.

Lisa Simpson:
It's tedious, I know. That's why I want to do some too!

Bart Simpson:
Hey, Milhouse, want to go check out the new gun shop in town?

Milhouse Van Houten:
Of course! After all, the NRA says it's the safest place for kids.

Bart Simpson:
They also say us kids should sleep under a blanket made of loaded guns. You know - for safety.

Milhouse Van Houten:
I eat my cereal every morning with a gun instead of a spoon. Because more guns everywhere means safer kids. Thanks, NRA!

Chief Wiggum:
I'd like to purchase this AK-47, please. Will you need to run a background check on me?

Herman:
Of course not. That would infringe on your Constitutional right to never be inconvenienced - even in the tiniest, most reasonable way - when guns are involved.

Herman:
It's all part of "Gun Buyers Are To Be Hailed As Our Worthiest Heroes" Act of 2013... sponsored by the NRA.

Chief Wiggum:
Great! The ready availability of guns to the public makes my job as a cop safer AND easier.

Krusty the Clown:
All right, I finished your dumb ride. Up you go.

Carl Carlson:
Oh, I never ride Viking Boats. Not with my stomach. I just wanted to make you build one.

Krusty the Clown:
I said, GET ON THE BOAT.

Lenny Leonard:
Are you aiming a gun at us?

Krusty the Clown:
I sure am. And I'm prepared to use it. Maybe even make jokes about it. Or the organization that lobbies on behalf of it.

Carl Carlson:
Look, shoot us if you want. But don't make a joke at the NRA's expense. They can't take it, and I don't want to listen to their whining.

Krusty the Clown:
Yeah, you'd think people with guns would have a thicker skin. But you're still getting on that boat.

Chief Wiggum:
We've been getting reports of someone using the Blue Houses as urinals. Save that behavior for the Brown Houses.

Lisa Simpson:
Wow, the ornate interior and new age looking exterior of Swanky Fish is impressive!

Homer Simpson:
But I thought this was a seafood place. What's with all this rice, avocado, and... yuck! Is this seaweed?

Lisa Simpson:
It's called Nori wrap. Sushi really is an art form.

Homer Simpson:
But I don't want my food to be an art form. I want it to be food.

Lisa Simpson:
Evergreen Terrace is starting to take shape. Now we need to build the Flanders house.

Homer Simpson:
Okay.

Homer Simpson:
Let's start by looking for the spot on the map furthest from any place I'd ever want to go...

Lisa Simpson:
But Dad, Mr. Flanders is our neighbor, so we'll have to move the Kwik-E-Mart somewhere first.

Homer Simpson:
grumbles. Okay, but I better get an achievement for this.

Homer Simpson:
Oh, work? I thought this was a game!

Disco Stu:
I'd celebrate. If I didn't have Saturday night fever!

Comic Book Guy:
Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix!

Matt Groening:
What about an original sketch or snippet of my hair?

Patty Bouvier:
I'm sorry, your application to talk to me has been denied.

Dewey Largo:
Do you find something funny about the word "tromboner"?