The Slumber Party Massacre

Trish Devereaux:
Diane! You're a snob!

Diane:
Hey, only the best people are, you know?

Trish Devereaux:
Look, what do you have against Valerie, anyway?

Diane:
Nothing. She drinks too much milk.

Jackie:
What do all the guys see in Diane anyway?

Trish Devereaux:
She's beautiful.

Jackie:
I think she's got a big mouth.

Kimberly Clarke:
Hey, it's not the size of your mouth; it's what's in it that counts.

Trish Devereaux:
What I don't see is what she sees in John Minor.

Kimberly Clarke:
Maybe what we don't see.

Trish Devereaux:
Hey, it's not how big it is, remember?

Jackie, Kimberly Clarke:
It's what's in it that counts!

Diane:
Y'know, I think your tits are getting bigger.

Various Girls:
MINE?

Diane:
[in the middle of telling a story] The woman gets up her courage and she throws her baby down, and the guy catches it. The crowd is going crazy, and the guy goes [she imitates throwing something to the floor] "TOUCHDOWN!"

[talking about the slumber party]

Linda:
I don't know if I can go. My mom's on my case about my grades.

Jeff:
Mine too, but I'll be there!

Jeff:
[to Neil] You know how girls love to scream.

[there's a knock at the front door]

Trish Devereaux:
Who is it?

Jackie:
[from outside] We're here for the orgy.

[there's scratching on the door, accompanied by heavy panting]

Kimberly Clarke:
[from outside] Let us in! Let us in! Hurry!

Valerie:
[to Courtney] It's too bad Mom and Dad didn't get a divorce before YOU were born.

Courtney:
I love you too.

Jeff:
[watching Kim change] I don't think I've been giving Kim the attention she deserves.

[Jeff and Neil are watching the girls change through a window]

Jeff:
What'd we do to deserve this?

Neil:
We died and went to heaven.

Jackie:
[reading Diane's horoscope] "Your power with the opposite sex will get you ahead."

Diane:
Not too bad.

Jackie:
Depends on whose head.

[Diane is talking on the phone with her boyfriend; the girls are downstairs listening on the other end]

Diane:
I love it too. You think I'm getting better?

[downstairs, the girls break out in laughter, and Diane hears]

Diane:
I think our first amendment's been violated.

Trish Devereaux:
Not the word I would have chosen.

Jeff:
Can't you take a joke?

Diane:
Can't you get out of the third grade?

[the girls are covering up the pizza guy's dead body]

Kimberly Clarke:
He's dead all right. So cold.

Jackie:
Is the pizza?

[Jackie takes a slice of pizza]

Jackie:
Well life goes on after all and eating makes me feel best when I feel bad and boy do I feel bad.

[she takes a bite of the pizza]

Jackie:
I feel better already. Really, I do.

Russ Thorn:
[speaking for the first time; to Trish] You're pretty. All of you are very pretty. I love you. It takes a lot of love for a person to... do this. You know you want it. You'll like it. Yes...

Trish Devereaux:
No... please... I don't even know you.

[the doorbell rings]

Jeff:
Who is it?

Russ Thorn:
[distorted voice through the closed front door] Pizza. Delivery.

Jeff:
What's the damage?

Russ Thorn:
Six... so far.

John Minor:
[getting flipped onto the ground] Holy sh*t, I think you broke my back!

Valerie:
John Minor, what're you doing scaring me to death like that?

John Minor:
I won't do it again, that's for sure.

Valerie:
You better learn to fall better, you could get hurt.

Mrs. Devereaux:
Trish, the chips are under the sink and there's soda in the fridge, and our number at the hotel is right by the phone.

Trish Devereaux:
Okay, Mom, everything will be fine.

Mrs. Devereaux:
You lock all the doors and windows.

Trish Devereaux:
Mom, I'm 18 years old, remember?

Mrs. Devereaux:
You will ALWAYS be my baby.

Courtney:
How come you weren't invited to the party?

Valerie:
I was, I just turned them down so I could take care of my darling little sister.

Courtney:
Like hell.

Valerie:
As the famous Jim Jones once said, 'Shut up and drink your Kool-Aid'.

Trish Devereaux:
That's odd, none of the fuses are blown, but some of them are missing.