The Story of Robin Hood and His Merrie Men

Maid Marian:
And you, good rogue, have my gracious leave to pine and fret till my return.

Robin Hood:
Oh, why should I?

Maid Marian:
To please a lady.

Robin Hood:
I could please myself to take up the cross and follow my king to the Holy Land.

Maid Marian:
'Twould come to the same thing in the end. Chop a few heads enough you'd come back a knight. As a knight you'd go jousting a tournament, to please a lady, and have your own head chopped off.

Robin Hood:
It would be worth it.

Maid Marian:
Is she so passing fair?

Robin Hood:
Aye

Maid Marian:
Describe her to me, Robin.

Robin Hood:
Well... she's....

Tyb:
Marian! Come now!

Robin Hood:
You're father's waiting.

Maid Marian:
I know, I know. Tell me quickly.

Robin Hood:
Well, she's tall and stately with bonnie blue eyes and golden hair. And above all she's sweetly tempered. [Marian kicks Robin in the shin] Ooooh. Owe.

Maid Marian:
Farewell, old clodhopper!

Tyb:
Where's that harem-scarem son of yours?

Hugh Fitzooth:
The maid's not with Robin if that's what you mean.

Tyb:
Find one bad penny, you'll find two.

Maid Marian:
[dressed as a page boy being held back by Little John] Let me go, you monster! Let me go!

Robin Hood:
Hey, John. Give me that lad.

Maid Marian:
[Marian is tossed to Robin] Let me down, you... you white faced...

Robin Hood:
Well, you're a pretty lad and sweetly tempered. Like a lady I used to know.

Maid Marian:
And I used to know a gentleman called Robin Fitzooth who would scorn to be a common thief.

Maid Marian:
So it's goodbye again.

Robin Hood:
It will always be goodbye till King Richard returns.

Maid Marian:
I fear so. Do you remember the day we said goodbye at Huntington?

Robin Hood:
I do.

Maid Marian:
And you were wishing to join the crusade and go to the Holy Land.

Robin Hood:
Yes.

Maid Marian:
It's well for England that you didn't.

Robin Hood:
I wonder.

Maid Marian:
You're serving your king better here, Robin Fitzooth.

Robin Hood:
Thank you, my lady.

Maid Marian:
Just what do you think you are doing?

Robin Hood:
Getting up.

Maid Marian:
You are not. Come now, a sup of barley broth.

Robin Hood:
I'm sick to death of barley broth. And once more I've been bullied long enough by you and that turniped faced friar.

Friar Tuck:
Hmph!

Maid Marian:
Now you drink this!

Robin Hood:
You drink it!

Friar Tuck:
[sits on Robin Hood so he can't move] Pour it down his throat.