The Swarm

Helicopter Pilot #2:
Oh, my God! Bees! Bees! Millions of Bees!

Brad Crane:
Are you endowing these bees with human motives? Like saving their fellow bees from captivity, or seeking revenge on Mankind?

General Thalius Slater:
I always credit my enemy, no matter what he may be, with equal intelligence.

Dr. Andrews:
Billions of dollars have been spent to make these nuclear plants safe. Fail-safe! The odds against anything going wrong are astronomical, Doctor!

Dr. Hubbard:
I appreciate that, Doctor. But let me ask you. In all your fail-safe techniques, is there a provision for an attack by killer bees?

Brad Crane:
I have cardio-pep in my van.

Capt. Helena Anderson:
Cardio-pep? I've just read an article in the medical journal about Cardio-pep! By some scientist named... Crane, I think.

Brad Crane:
We've been fighting a losing battle against the insects for fifteen years, but I never thought I'd see the final face-off in my lifetime. And I never dreamed, that it would turn out to be the bees. They've always been our friend.

[Crane's explanation of how he got inside a locked-down nuclear missile silo]

Brad Crane:
That's a complicated story. It begins a year ago. But let's skip that.

General Slater:
Houston on fire. Will history blame me, or the bees?

[about the killer bees]

Brad Crane:
We have been invaded, by an enemy far more lethal than any human force.

[Crane has found something at the ravaged picnic site]

Brad Crane:
[holding it up] Plastic. It's a piece of a plastic cup. There are pieces all around here.

[he starts pointing out the other fragments]

Brad Crane:
Look. Look, there. There. There.

General Slater:
What's so significant about that?

Brad Crane:
I'm afraid to speculate. But, I think, the bees, did this.

Major Baker:
Are you saying these bees eat plastic?

Brad Crane:
No, no. But I'm wondering. Your American Honeybee has a weak mouth, that couldn't even break the skin, of a grape. But it looks like this species, is tearing up, plastic cups, possibly to line their hives. Now, if this is true, they didn't, just get here. I mean, the invasion, didn't, just now begin. They have been here some time. Breeding. Increasing.

General Slater:
So?

Brad Crane:
Well, suppose these bees, are using plastic, to insulate their hives.

General Slater:
No bee is that smart.

Brad Crane:
Suppose these African bees are.

[after Crane leaves the missile silo's mortuary]

Major Baker:
I noticed Dr. Crane seemed uneasy in here.

Dr. Krim:
I can't imagine why anyone would be uneasy around all these *dead men*. Can you, Major?

Brad Crane:
These bees, General, are of joint concern, and they are killing Americans, without reference as to whether or not they have a serial number and are expected to salute YOU! So there will be no air drops of any kind until I give the OK!

General Slater:
Your OK, huh? Then just possible I can persuade you to attack this particular swarm, now that we know where it is! Attack and eliminate it!

Brad Crane:
Possibly, if you can explain to me, how you air drop chemicals, without killing the native insect life! If your chemical will kill the African bee, it will also kill the American bee, right?

General Slater:
Right! And better a few American bees than a lot of AMERICAN PEOPLE!

Brad Crane:
That is the point, general! The honey bee is vital to the environment! Every year in america, they pollinate six billion dollars worth of crops! If you kill the bee, you're gonna kill the crop! If you kill the plants, you'll kill the people! No! No, general! There will be no air drop, until we know exactly, what we are dropping, and where, and how! Excuse me!

[Crane storms off]

[Slater is about to attack the swarm with a highly toxic pesticide]

Brad Crane:
General, if you use that, nothing will grow out there for the next ten years!

General Slater:
Why worry about shaving when somebody's going to cut your head off!

[Watching Crane pray after Helena suffers toxic shock from a bee sting]

Major Baker:
Can we really count on a scientist who prays?

General Slater:
I wouldn't count on one who doesn't.

[Crane is talking to a sting victim who is hallucinating a giant bee]

Brad Crane:
[while the giant bee is hovering next to him] There's no bee here. I promise you, there's no bee here.

[as helicopters drop special sound-emitting floats to attract the swarm to its doom]

Helena:
Won't the noise of the helicopters drown out your sound?

Brad Crane:
No. It's an entirely different sonic level.

Mayor Clarence Tuttle:
I know people look at me and think that I'm just the man behind the aspirin counter, but inside I love you.

Maureen Schuster:
How lucky I am!

Maureen Schuster:
Attention! Attention! This is Miss Schuster. Please listen very carefully. A swarm of killer bees is coming this way.

General Thalius Slater:
By tomorrow there will be no more Africans... at least not in the Houston sector.

Dr. Krim:
They're more virulent than the Australian Brown-Box Jellyfish!