The Tale of the Bunny Picnic

[after talking quietly to himself in bed]

Bean:
[loudly] Wait a minute, Wait a minute, wait a minute...

[falls off the bed]

Lugsy:
we're waiting...

Bean:
[imagining] I'm not really Bean, I'm not really Bean, I'm not really Bean, I'm a giant tree and that dog can't get me. [fantasy sequence: Bean's a tree out in the middle of the woods when the dog comes up]

Dog:
Sniff sniff sniff, now where'd that bunny go? [Bean sighs and the dog looks up]

Bean:
Nobody here but us trees.

Dog:
Right.

Twitch:
[Bean's told them he saw a dog] Do you think he's telling the truth?

Lugsy:
He says he's a fire breathing dragon, and you ask me if he's telling the TRUTH?

Bunnies:
[singing] Hello sunshine/Hello birds on the wing/Hello spring time/We've been living for spring.

Twitch:
Bean... Bean?

Bean:
[hissing] Bean's not here.

Lugsy:
Then who're you?

Bean:
[hissing] I'm a fire breathing dragon.

Lugsy:
I'm not a bad bunny, am I?

Twitch:
No.

Lugsy:
[shouting] Then why do I have to have a little brother who always pretends he's a fire breathing dragon?

Bean:
Please don't make me go, there's a dog out there!

Father:
Dog! Did you say dog?

Bean:
Dog!

Father:
Dog!

Bean:
Dog!

Father:
Dog!

Bean:
Dog!

Father:
Dog!

Lugsy:
There's no dog.

Father:
No dog?

Lugsy:
No dog, it's just his imagination, again.

Dog:
I'll get that bunny or my name's not, my name's not... whatever it is.

Bunny:
[after Grandpa Bean tells the story of the bunny picnic and the dog and the farmer] But Grandpa Bean, what about the bunny picnic?

Bean:
Oh well I'm glad you asked, because there's never been another bunny picnic like it, before or since.

Bean:
[Bean and the Dog are hiding, the farmer's sneezing] What's going on?

Dog:
Bunnies make him sneeze something awful.

Bean:
They do? That gives me an idea. [leaves the bush]

Dog:
Where are you going, bunny? If he sees you... oh no...

Farmer:
[sees Bean] Oh no! Stay away from me! Stay away from me or I'll... ACHOO!

Bean:
Quick everyone, out in the open!

Lugsy:
[to Twitch] If he can do it, so can I.

Twitch:
Bean? Bean?

Bean:
I'm not Bean, I'm a weasel.

[sniffs]

Lugsy:
No no no, you're not a weasel, you're a pain in the...

Great Grandmother:
[opens her door] Next door neighbor.

Great Grandmother:
I've only seen two dogs, both at a distance.

Lugsy:
You see, Bean?

Bean:
I am not Bean, I'm a nasty old owl and I'm going to get you.

[charges at Lugsy but Great Grandmother gets in the way]

Great Grandmother:
Now Bean, you don't have to pretend to be a nasty old owl, why? Because you're a little bunny, at least that's what you are on the outside. Get it?

Mother:
Bulbous! Don't eat that, it's not cooked yet.