The Texan Meets Calamity Jane

Matt Baker:
Miss Mullen hired a lawyer.

Colorado Charley:
A lawyer?

Calamity Jane:
I'll shoot it out with him, too!

Matt Baker:
You can't do that, Calam! Law and order is comin' to the Gulch. Why, in a week or so, we'll have a real United States judge here. Ask Sheriff Atwood if you don't believe me.

Colorado Charley:
Great jumpin' horny toads! What's this town comin' to anyway? Soon be where a man can't settle an argument in his own way!

Colorado Charley:
From now on, Mr. Lawyer-man, you'll do the legal thinkin' and we'll do the legal shootin'!

Matt Baker:
Did you have a nice trip from San Antoine?

Cecelia Mullen:
Quite comfortable and fast, too. It only took 28 days!

[Calamity, Gordon and Colorado have just won a shoot-out with ruffians who stole a stagecoach]

Calamity Jane:
How's your passengers?

Colorado Charley:
Them? Uh, why I can't figure out which one's ready for the coroner and which one's ready for jail.

[last lines]

Calamity Jane:
Well, I reckon I ain't never loved anybody else but him

[Will Bill Hickok]

Calamity Jane:
anyway. Pard, we'll meet again in the Happy Hunting Grounds.

Colorado Charley:
I sure hope there's plenty of room up there, Calam, 'cause when you and Wild Bill get together again, there's gonna be some tall shootin'!

Calamity Jane:
When I die, Colorado, I want to be buried right here... beside him.

Narrator:
Calam's wish was granted. Her friends buried her beside him. Calam died in Deadwood 27 years later on the same day of the month Wild Bill was killed - August 2nd.