The Thin Man Goes Home

Nicholas 'Nick' Charles:
A couple of weeks on this cider and I'll be a new man.

Nora Charles:
I sort of like the old one.

Nicholas 'Nick' Charles:
Why, darling, that's the nicest thing you've said to me since the time I got my head caught in that cuspidor at the Waldorf.

Brogan:
Well, cut off my legs and call me Shorty.

Nicholas 'Nick' Charles:
Right there was the little old schoolhouse. [laughs] Once on Halloween I burned it down - slightly.

Nora Charles:
Just imagine, four murders, all strangulations, no fingerprints, no clues. The police were baffled. All they had were four bodies. So what do they do? They dump the whole thing in Nick's lap. Nobody suspected Stinky, because he's been a cripple ever since some nitro went off while he was cracking a canister in Salt Lake. Everybody thought it was Rainbow Benny, but Nick knew that Rainbow was an expert with the shiv. Strangling was out of his line! Oh, smart Nick! Then they turned the heat on Slasher Martin who ran an dice joint down in China Town. But Slasher had an alibi with Squinty Burke and Studsy Green, so that took care of him. But all the time Nick was certain that Stinky Davis was the killer. Why? Because he had him pegged right away for a two timing double crossing rat! But the police listen to Nick? No! They told him it was a hophead theory, wild as loco buttons, because Stinky was a cripple and couldn't navigate. So Nick got the brushoff from the police. They cold-shouldered him right out. But did that stop him? No sir! He knew the case was hot and he was all set to start cooking on the front burner. He said: "Stinky, you're the two timing double crossing rat who strangled Knobs McClure and Reesy Joe and Horseface Dan and Denver Mike and then he turned his back on him. And the trick worked! Because Stinky got out of his chair and tried to strangle Nick with a piece of wire he had hidden in his mouth. But just in time, Nick turned around and gave him the old one-two and knocked Stinky colder than an ice flounder. Stinky wasn't a cripple at all! He was just using it to cover up his crimes. Now, what do you think of *that*?

Nicholas 'Nick' Charles:
The fact that the boy's dead doesn't seem to have made very much impression on you.

Bill Burns:
Why should it? Death hasn't endowed him with any new virtues, has it?

Nicholas 'Nick' Charles:
That's a little brutal, but honest. Do you, eh... You know of anyone who might have had cause to kill him?

Bill Burns:
The way he was cutting throats at the plant, it might have been a number of people.

Nicholas 'Nick' Charles:
What about you?

Bill Burns:
Mr. Charles, when you've got anything on me, you can serve your papers. But until that time, I figure my time is my own.