The Unholy Night

Lord 'Monte' Montague:
If this fellow had had his way with me I don't suppose I'd ever have had another brandy and soda. That's a dismal thought, isn't it?... You know it hadn't ocurred to me before, but this brandy-and-soda business put it into my mind, that being dead must be rather like living in America, you know? It's a dry state.

Lord 'Monte' Montague:
You see, our family never have ideas; that's why they're so successful in politics, I suppose.

Lord 'Monte' Montague:
It was rather difficult navigating in the fog, you see. I remember thinking at the time that it was as thick as my creditors used to be before my uncle died... Yes. You know, I never began to live until my uncle died.

Lord 'Monte' Montague:
I haven't led a blameless life, but I at least I've never given any woman cause to kill me - that is, no more cause than most men give most women.

Lord 'Monte' Montague:
There may be some fellows around who don't think I'm an ornament to society, but then I've had that same idea about myself at times.

Sir James Rumsey:
I'm a teetotaler, thank you.

Lord 'Monte' Montague:
Oh, you shock me. And you've such a nice, kind face, too. When did you take the veil?

Sir James Rumsey:
Wasn't it you who screamed?

Polly, the maid:
I never scream unless a fella gets gay with me.