The Unknown Ranger

[first lines]

Bob:
Howdy, Tom. Is the captain around?

Ranger Captain:
[from a nearby tent] Hello, Bob. Come on in.

[Bob wants to know why Chuckler hasn't gone with the other ranchers to capture the horse rustlers]

Bob:
What's the matter? You ain't afeared are you?

Chuckler:
Afeared? Say, I reckon you don't know who I am!

Bob:
No, I reckon I don't.

Chuckler:
Say, I'm one of the toughest hombres anywhere in this country. I got more notches on my gun than all the outlaws and sheriffs put together. I'm a rootin', tootin', shoot 'em dead, double-perfumed polecat and I'm always on the prod!

Bob:
You know, I imagine there's gonna be a big reward for whoever brings in those rustlers. I sure could use half of it if I knew who I could give the other half to.

Chuckler:
Well, I ain't holdin' much dinero myself and it's kinda hot poundin' leather this time of year...

Bob:
To say nothin' about dodgin' bullets, heh?

Chuckler:
I don't have to dodge bullets. I'm so tough I just catches 'em in my teeth and masticates them into tin foil!

Bob:
Boy, I should sure use you for a partner, but seein' how you ain't of a mind to go along, I guess I'll have to play a lone hand.

Chuckler:
Well say, gol-darned your pink-skinned hide, you can't do that! It takes a maverick with whiskers on his chin and hair on his chest to deal with them varmints - and I'm that maverick with curly horns thrown in for good measure!