The Wackness

Stephanie:
Know what your problem is, Shapiro? It's that you just have this really shitty way of looking at things, ya know? I don't have that problem. I just look at the dopeness. But you, it's like you just look at the wackness, ya know?

Luke Shapiro:
I do?

Stephanie:
All you have to do is look at me. And kiss me.

Stephanie:
You're a virgin?

Luke Shapiro:
No. Naw. I just haven't officially had sex yet.

Luke Shapiro:
Do me a favor, Steph?

Stephanie:
Huh?

Luke Shapiro:
Don't say nothin, ok? Just stand there til I leave. I wanna remember this. I've never done it before.

Stephanie:
Never done what?

Luke Shapiro:
Had my heart broken.

Dr. Squires:
Don't touch my daughter.

Stephanie, Luke Shapiro:
Stepdaughter!

Dr. Squires:
Sometimes it's right to do the wrong thing, and right now is one of those times.

Dr. Squires:
The city's a disaster, Luke. Its not like it used to be. It's plastic. One big f***ing happy meal.

Luke Shapiro:
Some people like happy meals.

Dr. Squires:
Some people like the Yankees too, Luke. It doesn't mean they're right.

Luke Shapiro:
I got mad love for you shorty. That's on the real.

Luke Shapiro:
[on the phone] Peace out, forever!

Luke Shapiro:
So that was all bullshit right? All that stuff about embracing your pain, making it a part of you? You can't do this, you can't just give up. Life is hard and it's full of pain and what-not, but we take it cause there's great stuff too. And we can do it cause we have friends- because we have each other.

Luke Shapiro:
[asking his mom for a cigarette] Got another?

Mrs. Shapiro:
You smoke?

Luke Shapiro:
Everything.

Dr. Squires:
He doesn't appreciate you.

Elanor:
How do you know that?

Dr. Squires:
He couldn't possibly.

Elanor:
That's a compliment, right?

Dr. Squires:
[touches brim of hat] Ma'am.

Stephanie:
It doesn't matter.

Luke Shapiro:
Doesn't matter? Why not?

Stephanie:
Because how could anything possibly matter right now?

Luke Shapiro:
There's enough a**holes in the world, Dr. Squires, don't be another one.

Dr. Squires:
Certain people you just can't trust, you know Luke?

Dr. Squires:
Never trust anyone who doesn't smoke pot or listen to Dylan.

Dr. Squires:
Never trust anyone who doesn't like the beach.

Dr. Squires:
Never, EVER, EVER trust anyone who says they don't like dogs!

Dr. Squires:
You meet someone who doesn't like dogs you alert the authorities IMMEDIATELY and you sure as SH*T don't MARRY THEM!

Dr. Squires:
Young men need sex, Luke. All men, actually... I- I can get you a hooker if you like.

Luke Shapiro:
God, I was *this* close to respecting you.

Dr. Squires:
Big mistake, Luke. Call your girl. You don't need medication, Luke. You just need to get laid.

Dr. Squires:
What're you in here for?

Prisoner:
I stabbed my wife in the p*ssy.

Dr. Squires:
Oh! Wow!

Dr. Squires:
It used to be you could lick a sheet of acid, hold up a band, f*** a whore in Times Square without anyone batting an eyelash. Now, one blunt, we're in the clink. This whole city's f***ed!

Dr. Squires:
It's great, living. Get your heart broken, find yourself face down in the gutter, get your balls sucked, make a real mess of a life.

Grandma Shapiro:
Luke, have you had any more thoughts about what you're gonna be as far as a profession goes?

Mr. Shapiro:
Mom, he's got time.

Grandma Shapiro:
I'm just asking!

Luke Shapiro:
Actually, I'm thinking about becoming a shrink.

Grandpa Shapiro:
Psychology! It's not quite the shoe business, but it's a very interesting field.

Luke Shapiro:
I figure I'm an expert because everyone around me is so f***ing crazy, you know?

Luke Shapiro:
In June I graduate. And then I go to my safety school. And then I get a little older. And then I die.

Dr. Squires:
Life has a funny way of turning you into the one thing you don't want to be.

Dr. Squires:
The ocean. This is all I need, Luke. Forget the city. The city is wrong. I just want to wrap myself in the ocean.

Dr. Squires:
Don't jump for the quick fix. This whole f***ing city wants a quick fix. Embrace your pain. Make it a part of you. You don't want to be like them. I don't want you to be like them.