The Wash

Dee Loc:
Man who the hell knockin' at my door like the f***in' popo's.

[Walks over to the door and looks through peephole]

Dee Loc:
Oh sh*t nigga turn that sh*t down it is the popo's.

[to Mr. Washington over the phone, for firing him]

Chris:
How's your day going? Good, 'cause the rest of your day's gonna be F***ED!

Mr. Washington:
[Mr. Washington recently fired Chris. Chris calls Mr. Washington's private number] Hello?

Chris:
Good morning, Mr. Washington? How's your day? Good. Cause the rest of your day's gonna be f***ed! You f***ed with the wrong motherf***er, a**hole! [Laughs] I'm gonna f***in' kill you. I'm gonna f***in' kill you! I got the mothaf***in' AK/And I'm gonna spray everyone mothaf***a round your way/I got the mothaf***in' glock!/And I'm comin' on your mothaf***in' block!

Mr. Washington:
How'd some fool get my private line?

Chris:
You probably wonder how I got this number? [Razzes into the phone, and hangs up]

Dee Loc:
Sh*t, Nigga. I paid tha cost to be the boss

Dee Loc:
[answers phone] Hello?

Slim:
Hey, we tha kidnappers, and we want tha money for Mr. Wash

Dee Loc:
Well, how much ya want?

Slim:
Uh, hold on a sec,

[turns to face]

Slim:
How much we want?

Face:
Tell him we want 50 cent fool

Slim:
Oh, ok

[talks to Dee Loc on phone]

Slim:
we want 50 cent fool uh, hold on a sec

[turns to face]

Slim:
so that's what this is about, for two punk-ass motherf***in' quarters!

Face:
we want 50 thousand dollars fool!

Slim:
Oh, ok

[talks to Dee Loc on phone]

Slim:
we want 50 thousand dollars fool!

Dee Loc:
[Dee Loc laughs and turns to friends] These guys are just plain stupid!

Slim:
...And we want the money in fresh, crisp 20's

Face:
100's fool!

Slim:
oh, 100's fool!

[a pair of police officers come across C-Money, who was laid out by Norman]

Police Officer:
What's the matter, Chris? You get knocked the f*** out?

Slim:
Hello, this the kidnappers again. Me and Face...

Face:
Fool, you just said my name!

Slim:
[to Face] Fool, is you Destiny's Child? Ain't nobody said your muthaf***in' name!

Dee Loc:
[referring to Slim and Face] These got to be the two stupidest mothaf***as.

Sean:
Mr. Wash wanna see you.

Dee Loc:
What he wanna see me for?

Sean:
It's worse than you think!

Dee Loc:
Huh? Man stall me out wit all that mystery sh*t and tell me what's up.

Man in Trunk:
[C-Money opens Mafia Tony's trunk] Oh my God you've gotta help me, they're gonna kill me! I f***ed this guy's sister man! I didn't mean to f*** her!

C-Money:
Eh man, sorry I can't help you.

Man in Trunk:
B*tch!

C-Money:
Mr Washington, don't you see how hard we over here workin'?

Mr. Washington:
I see how hard y'all about to try to work me.

C-Money:
Yea well actually, actually me and uh- [looks at Lil Dee and hits him] me and Lil Dee right here. We were thinking how its about time you start uppin' our pay.

Lil Dee:
Yep

Mr. Washington:
[laughs] First of all, y'all ain't thinking. Second of all, if and when y'all find uppin' in the dictionary. That's when I'm gonna up and do that. Until that day y'all need to uppin' y'alls ass over there in that line. A**hole and a**hole like.

C-Money:
See man I told you not come over here f***in' with him. Man you stupid!

Lil Dee:
What? Man look.