The Wonder Years

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
When you're a little kid you're a bit of everything; Scientist, Philosopher, Artist. Sometimes it seems like growing up is giving these things up one at a time.

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
Things never turn out exactly the way you planned. I know they didn't with me. Still, like my father used to say, 'Traffic's traffic, you go where life takes you' and growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day you're in diapers, the next you're gone, but the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul. I remember a time a place, a particular fourth of July, the things that happened in that decade of war and change. I remember a house like a lot of houses, a yard like a lot of yards, on a street like a lot of other streets. I remember how hard it was growing up among people and places I loved. Most of all, I remember how hard it was to leave. And the thing is, after all these years I still look back in wonder.

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
All of our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone that makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope. All the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there's someone perfect who might be searching for us.

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
I wanted to tell her everything, all the set backs all the screw ups. But hey, I wasn't.

Wayne Arnold:
[walking in with a fire hat and vacum cleaner] HAMSTER PATROL!

Kevin Arnold:
Get outta here Wayne!

Wayne Arnold:
Mom told you to clean up after those little rodents!

Jack Arnold:
[after Wayne totalled the family car] What the hell, Wayne?

Wayne Arnold:
[Wayne's friend Wart has returned shell-shocked from Vietnam and is sitting on a bench in just boxers and dog tags] What's wrong, buddy?

Wart:
Nothing seems to fit any more.

Wayne Arnold:
[Wayne takes his shirt off and offers it to his friend] Here you go. Wear mine.

Wayne Arnold:
[meeting karen's new live-in boyfriend] New guy who's sleeping with my sister, huh?

Wayne Arnold:
Butthead.

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
And so we finally got our new car. It wasn't red, it wasn't a convertible, heck, it wasn't even a Mustang. But it was brand new. And it was pretty cool. 'Course, Dad got his shot at king-for-a-day... and we were happy for him. But that afternoon, I began to understand what Dad had been going through. There was more to that old car than fuel pumps and crankshafts. There was a part of all of us in that car. The places we'd gone, the things we'd done... the family we had been. The family that was moving on. And for the first time, I understood the value of what my Dad had put into it. And why it was so hard to let it go.

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
[seeing his coach as a mall Santa] It was horrible, worse than horrible. The whiskers, the bells, the hat? Kind of a Christmas nightmare come true.

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
First time I'd ever seen a teacher outside of school, and he had a pillow strapped to his stomach.

Coach Cutlip:
Kids... like me when I'm Santa.

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
And right then, for the first time as I looked at the man, I actually saw a human being. Not a great human being, maybe not even a good human being, but a very lonely human being.

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
I'll always remember that look on his face. He was at once heroic and stupid. There was nothing more I could do. The die was cast. It was Santa's Last Stand. I stood there, helpless, outnumbered. And that's when it happened. Doug Porter looked first, directly into the eyes of the man who had taught him gym for three long years. Then Tommy Kisling looked, too, and Randy Mitchell. Those three skeptics gazed straight at that white beard, dead into the eyes of Coach Cutlip not thirty feet away. But all that they saw... was Santa Claus.

Narrator:
When you're a little kid, you're a little bit of everything: Artist, Scientist, Athlete, Scholar. Sometimes it seems like growing up is a process of giving those things up, one by one. I guess we all have one thing we regret giving up; one thing we really miss - that we gave up because we were too lazy, or because we couldn't stick it out, or because we were afraid.

[Kevin has just asked his father to summarize his life]

Jack Arnold:
I get up at 5am, I fight traffic, I bust my hump all day, I fight traffic again, and come home... [smiles] And I pay my taxes.

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
Chicks! The reason God invented cars.

Cindy:
Is your grandmother here?

Kevin Arnold:
My grandmother?

Cindy:
[smiling] Yeah.

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
Liver!

Kevin Arnold:
Oh! No. She's back at home because of...

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
Liver!

Kevin Arnold:
Her liver.

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
We were reaching critical mass here. Our night was wearing thin. So was our vocabulary.

Kevin Arnold:
You don't have to grade it. It's an 'A'.

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
Growing up is never easy. You hold onto things that were; you wonder what's to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be - other days, new days, days to come. The thing is, we didn't have to hate each other for getting older; we just had to forgive ourselves for growing up.

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
The next day Winnie and I came home. Back to where we'd started. It was the fourth of July in that little Suburban town. Somehow though, things were different. Our past was here, but our future was somewhere else, and we both knew sooner or later we had to go. It was the last July I ever spent in that town. The next year after graduation I was on my way. So was Paul! He went to Harvard, of course. Study law, he still allergic to everything. As for my father, well, we patched things up. Hey we where family for better or worse, one for all, and all for one. Karen's son was born that September; I got to say I think he looks like me, poor kid. Mom she did well, business woman, board chairmen, grandmother, cooker of mashed potatoes. The Wayner stayed on in furniture. Wood seemed to suit him; in fact he took over the factory two years later when dad passed away. Winnie left the next summer to study art history in Paris. Still we never forgot our promise. We wrote to each other once week for the next eight years. I was there to meet her when she came home. With my wife and my first son eight months old. Like I said things never turn out exactly the way you'd planned. Growing up happens in a heartbeat, one day you're in diapers, the next day your gone, but the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul. I remember a place, a town, a house, like a lot of houses, a yard like a lot of other yards, on a street like a lot of other streets, and the thing is after all these years I still look back with Wonder.

Kevin Arnold:
Winnie, I just want you to know that I know... You don't have to say anything, just know that I know. Okay?

Winnie Cooper:
Know what?

Kevin Arnold:
Winnie! Paul told me! And i'm glad he did!

Winnie Cooper:
Paul told you?

Kevin Arnold:
Well yeah! Isn't that great?

Winnie Cooper:
Paul told you?

Kevin Arnold:
He says you're crazy about me! [Winnie slams door]

Kevin Arnold:
[hands in his test to Mr. Collins] You don't have to grade it. It's an "F".

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
It was the first kiss for both of us. We never really talked about it afterwards. But I think about the events of that day again and again and somehow I know that Winnie does too, whenever some blowhard starts talking about the anonymity of the suburbs or the mindlessness of the tv generation. Because we know that inside each one of those identical boxes, with it's dodge parked out front and it's white bread on the table and it's tv set glowing blue in the falling dusk, there were people with stories. There were families bound together in the pain and the struggle of love. There were moments that made us cry with laughter. And there were moments, like that one, of sorrow and wonder.

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
There's no easy way to say this... I grew up in the suburbs.

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
Oh God, I was an animal! Watching her eat the ham, I felt, how could I be having these feelings? Did it show? Could people see through me? What would Brian think?

Brian Cooper:
So, you're at my funeral and all you can think about is my little sister?

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
Of course he would think I was scum.

Brian Cooper:
[smiling] You're a man after my own heart.

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
[Mr Cutlip draws a woman on a blackboard] Suddenly it became very clear why Mr Cutlip had never been married. Any man who saw women that way would have no reason to.

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
I guess my mother figured out her mistake pretty quickly because I never heard from either of my parents on that topic again. We seemed to have a tacit understanding that they wouldn't mention my book if I didn't mention theirs.

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
I wanted to stay there, in that night... more than anything I wanted before. But I knew I couldn't. I was fifteen. I slept under a roof my father owned, in a bed my father bought. Nothing was mine, except my heart, and my fears. And my growing knowledge that not every road was going to lead home anymore.

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
Maybe that's not exactly the way it happened, but that's the way it should've happened and that's the way I like to remember it and if dreams and memories sometimes get confused, well that's as it should be. Because every kid deserves to be a hero. Every kid already is.

Norma Arnold:
[as she walks to the other end of the kitchen to retrieve something] I went shopping for you today.

Kevin Arnold:
You did?

Norma Arnold:
Uh-huh.

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
[as Norma reaches into a large brown paper bag] Face it. The woman loved me.

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
[while Norma approaches, holding something behind her back] She knew me better than anyone in the world. Which was, of course, the problem.

Norma Arnold:
Look! [Norma holds up a pair of white briefs] Underpants! Your favorite kind!

Kevin Arnold - The Narrator:
[as Kevin reacts with horror] She knew too much!