The Worst Witch

Miss Cackle:
Why is it when I need a shining white knight, I get you, Mildred?

Mildred Hubble:
Well, maybe I am your shining knight, Miss Cackle.

[after Mildred comes out of Miss Cackle's office]

Maud Moonshine:
What did she say?

Mildred Hubble:
She said I must be the worst witch in the entire school.

Ruby Cherrytree:
Did she shout at you?

Mildred Hubble:
Worse. She was really nice. But she says if she hears anymore bad reports, she doesn't know what she'll do with me.

Maud Moonshine:
Oh, Millie.

Ruby Cherrytree:
It was a laugh.

Jadu Wali:
You were hilarious.

Mildred Hubble:
Well, I've made a promise to Miss Cackle and I mean it. No more acting the fool for me. I'm gonna be a lot more serious in the future.

Charlie Blossom:
I just got one thing to say. You're a real witch, Mildred Hubble.

Miss Cackle:
[referring to the alarm going off] It's alright it's not an emergency, just Mr Blossom fiddling.

Miss Constance Hardbroom:
What Shall we do with the girls?

Miss Cackle:
How do you mean?

Miss Constance Hardbroom:
They'll think it's a drill!

Miss Cackle:
What does Miss Drill want to do about it?... Oh a drill! They'll realise it's a first try won't they?

Miss Constance Hardbroom:
Will they? [the first years come running and screaming past] It's alright! It's alright back to your classes! False Alarm!

Sybil Hallow:
[Points] But the alarm! [Clarice pulls her back]

Miss Bat:
Fire! Earthquake! Volcano! Flooding!

Miss Constance Hardbroom:
It's alright Miss Bat!

Miss Bat:
Oh Tidalwave!...

Miss Constance Hardbroom:
Miss Bat! Miss Bat! It's alright!

Mildred Hubble:
[Enid is showing the gang her "tattoo"] You better be careful HB doesn't see it.

Fenella Feverfew:
[as HB] I see everything, Mildred Hubble!

Mildred Hubble:
[scared, she turns] I'm really sorry, Miss Hardbroom!

Ethel Hallow:
Up and away, and don't forget what I told you!

Clarice Crow:
Come on Sybil!

Sybil Hallow:
I want my mum... [cries]

Clarice Crow:
She'll be halfway home by now [Sybil continues crying] come on Sybil...

Sybil Hallow:
No I'm waiting here til she comes back for me.

Clarice Crow:
That'll be the end of term. If the new girls aren't at Walkers Gate by 5 they get locked out!

Sybil Hallow:
Good cause I've got no intention of going in. I know all about Cackles Academy, my sister's told me everything.

Clarice Crow:
She was winding you up!

Sybil Hallow:
Second years turn into wolves and bite you on the nose and if you cry they lock you in the dungeons and they're bound to do that to me cause I cry really easily... [cries]

Clarice Crow:
Rubbish.

Sybil Hallow:
And there's a big gang that goes around picking on kids and casting foul spells on them and their leader is the worst of them all, the worst witch in the entire school... Mildred Hubble...

Sybil Hallow:
[Cries]

Mildred Hubble:
There are good sides to Cackles' you know, it's not always damp and cold.

Maud Moonshine:
Just "nearly" always

Sybil Hallow:
[Cries]

Mildred Hubble:
You get pizza on Saturdays...

Maud Moonshine:
and cold grey slop for the rest of the week.

Mildred Hubble:
Our rooms are on the floor above, I've got bats in mine! Winky, Blinky and Nod. Would you like to see them?

Sybil Hallow:
[Cries]

Mildred Hubble:
Look we'll have Hardbroom in here in a minute if you carry on like this.

Maud Moonshine:
She just appears from nowhere.

Clarice Crow:
[Glances around the room nervously]

Mildred Hubble:
They say she changes a first year into a frog once for making a racket like this.

Clarice Crow:
[Gets a surprised look on her face]

Sybil Hallow:
[Looks up from crying]

Maud Moonshine:
Really?

Mildred Hubble:
Yes, and there's a frog in the school pond and they say it's her.

Maud Moonshine:
Is that true Mildred? I've never heard that before

Mildred Hubble:
I think so.

Maud Moonshine:
Phew! Glad I've got Gimmlet this year.

Sybil Hallow:
Hello, Mildred.

Mildred Hubble:
Oh. Hello, Sybil.

Sybil Hallow:
Could I just say, I thought you were amazing the other night? When you got the Chief Wizard to turn that frog back into a man. I don't care what Ethel says, I think you're absolutely brilliant.

Mildred Hubble:
Oh. Well, that's very nice of you to say so.

Sybil Hallow:
In fact, I wish you were my sister, and not Ethel.

Miss Cackle:
Who's winning?

Miss Constance Hardbroom:
We don't know they both say they're Lucy Fairweather and we don't know...

Miss Cackle:
Which witch is which? That is a conundrum!