There Goes the Bride

[doorbell rings]

Max:
It's her!

Annette Marquand:
Who?

Max:
My fianc?e!

[They look out of the window]

Max:
It's her!

Annette Marquand:
So *that's* your fianc?e.

Max:
Yes.

Annette Marquand:
There is no accounting for taste.

Annette Marquand:
[giggles uncontrollably]

Max:
What in heaven's name is there to laugh at?

Annette Marquand:
[continues to giggle] Look! Look! She walked off into the night in her... knickers!

Max:
My fianc?e! What will people think?

Annette Marquand:
They will think she is everybody's... fianc?e.

Max:
Now you see what you've done?

Annette Marquand:
You ought to be very pleased.

Max:
But she is my fiancee!

Annette Marquand:
Hah!

Max:
What?

Annette Marquand:
I said hah. And I meant it. Every word of it!

Annette Marquand:
Did I want to go to your rotten party and meet your silly friends? Is it any fun for me to be mistaken for that woman? A pink and white confection you picked off the Alps somewhere. Why didn't you leave here there? She'd keep better on ice!

Jacques:
Now, tell me, the whole romantic story. How was it?

Annette Marquand:
What story?

Jacques:
Well, your meeting Max. How he rescued you.

Annette Marquand:
Oh [pauses as she makes up a story] . Accident.

Jacques:
Yes, yes, I know. But how?

Annette Marquand:
Well, in the train.

Jacques:
Huh?

Annette Marquand:
I mean, in the car.

Jacques:
Hah! But you said the train.

Annette Marquand:
Well, you see, there was a train standing by.

Jacques:
Why?

Annette Marquand:
Well, trains do.

[Last lines]

Customs agent:
Have you anything to declare?

Max:
Yes, I love this woman.

Customs agent:
And you, madam?

Annette Marquand:
I love this man.