Thriller Night

[first lines]

Shrek:
[bursts out of the cinema] For the love of Gingy, make it stop! I can't get it out of my head!

Donkey:
Yo-ho, yodelei-yodelei! Yodelei!

Puss in Boots:
Ole!

Princess Fiona:
Honey, are you okay? I've never heard you scream like that before!

Donkey:
Yeah, what's the matter with you, man? What kind of person screams when they see a Sister dance?

Shrek:
It's Halloween, for Pete's sake! That's not the kind of thing I want to see tonight!

Donkey:
Okay, fine, Mister King of Halloween, what DID you want to see tonight?

Shrek:
Oh, I don't know, something with MUMMIES, or a man-eating plant, or even a zombie or two!

Donkey:
Zombies don't know how to sing "yodelei-yodelei..." !

Shrek:
[stuffs a popcorn bag in Donkey's snout] That is my point!

Puss in Boots:
Why do we not have both: a scary musical!

Donkey:
Yeah, and guess who's starring in it too? [everything goes dark]

Shrek:
Now what?

Puss in Boots:
Darkness falls across the land / The midnight hour is close at hand / Creatures crawl in search of blood / To terrorize y'all's neighbourhood / And whosoever shall be found / Without the soul for getting down / Must stand and face the hounds of hell / And rot inside a corpse's shell. / The foulest stench is in the air / The funk of 40,000 years / And grizzy ghouls from every tomb / Are closing in to seal your doom / And though you fight to stay alive / Your body starts to shiver / For no mere mortal can resist / The evil of the thriller.

Shrek:
Now THIS is Halloween... [discovers his wife and friends are zombies]

Shrek:
Oh, no! Not this! Not THAT dance!

Donkey:
'Cause this is THRILLER, thriller night / Your brain may say it's wrong but in your heart you know it's right!

[last lines]

Shrek:
[back at the cinema] NOOOO!

[Puss cackles]

Shrek:
We've talked about this! You know how I feel about spontaneous musical outbursts!

Donkey:
You close your eyes, and hope that smell is just your imagination!

Shrek:
Will you make him stop?

Donkey:
And be surprised! You hold your breath and wait for it to pass...

Shrek:
Don't be an ass!