Top Five

Andre Allen:
Fry or die.

Andre Allen:
I am telling you, everything means something.

Chelsea Brown:
No everything does not mean something. Okay, sometimes a movie is just a movie. Sometimes a song is just a song. Sometimes a joke is just a joke. Remember those, jokes?

Andre Allen:
You coming to the party right?

Carl:
Some people got to work. I'll tell you what. I'll come to your next bachelor party.

Andre Allen:
That's not funny man.

Carl:
Tell me somethin'. Your next wife, she gonna be white or she gonna be asian?

Andre Allen:
It's still not funny man.

Carl:
Oh, it's only funny when you say mean sh*t. Right?

Andre Allen:
A lot of people don't like dates. It's like, "I hate dating. I hate dating."

Andre Allen:
I like dates. Dates are cool.

Andre Allen:
'Cause a date means someone is considering f***ing you.

Andre Allen:
They have to, like, ponder it. It's just...

Andre Allen:
Anybody you can eat with, you might have a chance of f***ing.

Andre Allen:
So, and they're just pondering f***ing you.

Andre Allen:
They're weighing it in their head. They're going...

Andre Allen:
Girls are going, "His dick, my mouth. I wonder."

Andre Allen:
And even if it doesn't happen, you just feel... I feel good.

Andre Allen:
I mean, any day somebody thinks about f***ing you is a good day.