Trouble with Harry

Capt. Wiles:
Blessed are they who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed.

Miss Graveley:
How old do you think I am young man?

Sam Marlowe:
Hmm... fifty. How old do you think you are?

Miss Graveley:
Forty-two! I can show you my birth certificate.

Sam Marlowe:
I'm afraid you're going to have to show more than your birth certificate to convince a man of that.

Miss Graveley:
What seems to be the trouble, Captain?

Captain:
A real handsome man's cup.

Miss Graveley:
It's been in the family for years. My father always used it... until he died.

Captain:
I trust he died peacefully. Slipped away in the night?

Miss Graveley:
He was caught in a threshing machine.

Jennifer Rogers:
He looked exactly the same when he was alive, only he was vertical.

Captain:
Marriage is a good way to spend the winter.

Jennifer Rogers:
You can stuff him, for all I care. Stuff him and put him in a glass case, only I'd suggest frosted glass.

Sam Marlowe:
What did he do to you? Besides marry you.

Sam Marlowe:
Perharps I'll come back tomorrow.

Arnie:
When's that?

Sam Marlowe:
The day after today.

Arnie:
That's yesterday. Today's tomorrow.

Sam Marlowe:
It was.

Arnie:
When was tomorrow yesterday?

Sam Marlowe:
Today.

Arnie:
Oh, sure. Yesterday.