Two Sisters from Boston

Recording Technician:
His Master's voice...

Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr:
[in opera house box] In his autumn 'fore the winter comes man's last mad surge of youth

Mrs. Ella Patterson:
What on earth are you talking about?

Martha Canford Chandler:
You do look a little like Grandpa.

Abigail Chandler:
[Sadly] I feel a lot like Grandpa. You know I think Grandpa has the right idea being a drunkard.

Uncle Jonathan:
[to his niece Abigail] And you, young lady, had better be singing in the opera tonight or we'll all have to move to Wichita!

'Spike':
You took the words right out of my mouth. That's very unsanitary.

Olstrom:
[At his dressing table putting on makeup for a performance] Is she pretty, Ossifish?

Ossifish:
Oh, magnifico!

Olstrom:
Is she pretty as a soprano or is she pretty?

Ossifish:
Very pretty. [He kisses his fingers] I try not to look at her.

Olstrom:
Good!

'Spike':
[to Martha as she is about to go on stage] Spunk up, kid! All they can do is throw things at ya.

'Spike':
[to his partners on stage] You see, fellas? All you need is personality, money and good looks. I've got personality. I've got money...

[pauses]

'Spike':
Well, two out of three ain't bad.

Uncle Jonathan:
If it's true, we're ruined. And what's more important, I'm ruined.

Martha Canford Chandler:
Oh, Uncle Jonathan. Hugo, are you sure he said Abigail?

Hugh Inkerfield:
Abigail. Your sister Abigail.

Martha Canford Chandler:
I don't believe it. Abigail is in New York but she'd never do a thing like... like...

Aunt Jennifer:
He said she sang... in public?

Hugh Inkerfield:
He said she sang and danced in a low caf? in the Bowery. That's what he said, Aunt Jennifer.

Martha Canford Chandler:
That's a lie.

Aunt Jennifer:
If it isn't, we're ruined socially.

Grandpa Chandler:
Remember when Cousin Harriet ran off with the hurdy gurdy man? Oh, ho ho!

Uncle Jonathan:
Cousin Harriet did not have an uncle running for mayor of Boston.

[Suddenly]

Uncle Jonathan:
I have it! It's a political plot to ruin my campaign, that's what it is!

Aunt Jennifer:
I see what it is. It's your rival.

Uncle Jonathan:
It's that Wetherby. He started this slander.

Hugh Inkerfield:
He's no gentleman, Uncle Jonathan.

Uncle Jonathan:
He's a... he's a... Democrat! I'll sue him for libel.

Martha Canford Chandler:
He should be put in jail!

Aunt Jennifer:
Oh, I think it's most unfair.

Uncle Jonathan:
I'll sue him for $100,000. That's what I'll do.

Grandpa Chandler:
You never can tell. Little Abigail looked just like Cousin Harriet when she was a baby. Why they even said she looked like me!

Aunt Jennifer:
Why, she does look like Grandpa. I'd forgotten.

Grandpa Chandler:
You'll never keep Abigail in mothballs, believe me.

[He cackles]

Uncle Jonathan:
Silence!

Wrigley:
[Pointing to Abigail, he is drunk and forcibly escorted away] She's the "Queen of Burlesque" with the Golden Rooster! She's "The Belle of the Bowery!"

Mrs. Ella Patterson:
Oh dear, dear. This is dreadful. This is really dreadful. [to Abigail] I'm so sorry.

'Spike':
Well, what's the matter with being "The Belle of the Bowery?" What's wrong with that?

Mr. Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Sr.:
There's nothing the matter with being "The Belle of the Bowery" Mr. Marengo except she's not the sort of a person we'd care to have in the opera.

'Spike':
Oh, you was thinkin' of her for the opera?

Mr. Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Sr.:
Miss Abigail has a very beautiful voice. I'm sure it was the alcohol in Wrigley that was talking, wasn't it Miss Abigail?

Martha Canford Chandler:
[Before Abigail can speak, Martha jumps in] Oh, he meant me. I'm the one who sings at the Golden Rooster, not Abigail.

Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr:
Martha, have you lost your mind?

Martha Canford Chandler:
I am High "C" Suzie.

Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr:
[laughs nervously] This is ridiculous. Abigail, what's gotten into her?

Abigail Chandler:
I'm sure that butler's been drinking.

Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr:
Mr. Marengo, you know she's talking nonsense.

'Spike':
[to Martha] Are you on the level, kid?

Martha Canford Chandler:
I'm "The Belle of the Bowery" and I'm proud of it.

Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr:
Well, I... I refuse to believe it. I shall, if necessary, go down to, uh, the place and prove it all to be a fiction.

Mr. Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Sr.:
That might be best.

Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr:
I shall be there tomorrow night.

Mr. Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Sr.:
I think it a very good idea.