Two Weeks Notice

George Wade:
What do you think of this? Too ornate? Or do you think it's... beltacular.

George Wade:
I own the hotel, and I live there. My life is very much like Monopoly.

June Carter:
Do you know what I like even more than chess?

George Wade:
Pokemon?

George Wade:
I'm now poor. When I say I'm poor, I mean we may have to share a helicopter with another family.

Meryl Brooks:
Come on, I've known you since Brownies, and the only time I ever saw you cry was when Bush won.

Lucy Kelson:
Which one?

Meryl Brooks:
Well, both of them.

George Wade:
Before you came into my life I could make all kinds of decisions now I'm addicted I have to know what you think. What do you think?

Lucy Kelson:
I think your the most selfish human being on the planet.

George Wade:
Well that's just silly. Have you met everybody on the planet?

Lucy Kelson:
Please don't tell me you called me out of a wedding to pick out a suit.

Tony:
All men are pawns when it comes to women.

George Wade:
You make Ghandi look like a used cars saleseman.

Tony:
She looks so peaceful when she's sleeping... Like a doll.

George Wade:
A doll with a sinus problem.

George Wade:
I find you... annoying.

Lucy Kelson:
You called everyone but slurpy heaven.

George Wade:
That is not true. I did call slurpy heaven. They didn't want you. Said you had attitude. Said you weren't slurpy material.

Meryl Brooks:
I used to be afraid of being alone, then I got married. Now I'll never be alone again...

George Wade:
Well, we obviously can't leave you alone with that stapler.

Helen Wade:
Would you like anything?

George Wade:
I could really go for some Milk Duds.

Helen Wade:
We don't have any, I could send out for one.

George Wade:
Oh no, don't be ridiculous. If you're going to send out, get a whole box.

George Wade:
This whole project is worth about 50 million in profits.

Ruth Kelson:
I personally feel it is unethical for one person to acquire that much wealth, how do you sleep at night?

George Wade:
Well I have a machine that simulates the sound of the ocean.

Larry Kelson:
Do those really work?

George Wade:
Oh yes, quite well actually.

Lucy Kelson:
Oh good, while you're at it, be sure to massage his cloven hoof.

George Wade:
Girls, I'm starting to feel a pain in my ass...

George Wade:
And did you tell Billy you loved him? Did you say, 'Billy, I love you'?

Lucy Kelson:
What did I tell you that defines an emergency?

George Wade:
A large meteoroid, severe blood lose and uh...

Lucy Kelson:
Death! And you're not dead!

George Wade:
If you have to go, just go!

Lucy Kelson:
What? What am I, five years old? This is my Volvo! People just don't go in Volvos.

George Wade:
I'll buy you another Volvo!

Lucy Kelson:
I don't want another Volvo. Besides, that's the only thing you'll remember about me... the woman who 'went' on the front seat.

George Wade:
Well that would be kind of hard to forget.

Lucy Kelson:
Oh, well, I can swing a racket.

George Wade:
Yes I know, at my head, I've experienced it.

Meryl Brooks:
You should have gone with George

Lucy Kelson:
He asked June

Meryl Brooks:
He asked you too!

Lucy Kelson:
He asked me too? How many women does a man need to take to dinner? Maybe in Utah.

Lucy Kelson:
I'll give you a twenty for your cab!

Man Getting into Cab:
Keep your twenty and have dinner with me.

Lucy Kelson:
You keep your dinner, I'll keep my twenty, and we'll call it a deal!

Lucy Kelson:
George, I have an ulcer, I don't sleep well, mostly because you keep calling me in the middle of the night, and if you dont call me I dream that you're gonna call me. I think about you in the shower

Lucy Kelson:
... not in a good way, but in an I'm-so-distracted-I-can't-remember-if-I-washed-my-hair kinda way - so I'll wash my hair twice! So I have a hole in my stomach, I'm running out of shampoo and today is the first day in my life that I did not give a thousand percent on the job. And I hate that feeling.

Meryl Brooks:
It was a fight for Tom, and it was the best thing I ever did.

Tom:
Everything all right down there?

Meryl Brooks:
Not now! EVERYTHING is not about you.

Lucy:
I think you are the most selfish person on the planet.

George:
Well that's just silly. Have you met everyone on the planet?

June:
Chess. I love chess. You know what I love even more than chess?

George:
...Pokémon?

June:
Strip Chess.

Tony:
Nobody wins or loses when it comes to women. You just talk about your feelings until all your breath is sucked out your body. All men are pawns when it comes to women. Especially a smart one like Lucy. She's hard to control, and you know the man has got to be control. Okay, like with me. I come home, when I walk in, I KNOW my Mama has dinner on the table!"

George:
Alright, so..you're.... still living at home?

Tony:
Yeah...yeah. Of course.

Lucy:
Alright, here's somebody interesting, Polly St. Clair

George:
Well, that's a terrific resume, Polly. And...uh..Congratulations on the baby.

Polly:
What baby?

Lucy:
[whispering to George]: Maybe you should check with me before you talk

Polly:
What baby?

Lucy:
[to Polly] I'd like to talk to you about your moot-court experience.

Polly:
What baby??

George:
Yeah, what baby, heh??

George Wade:
I can't believe how small this apartment is, it's actually shocking! It's a very good thing your parents went to the movies, we'd never have squeezed in! You realize, I can actually move from one side of this apartment to the other in 6 seconds. Watch this, 1....

George Wade:
Your mother is terrifying. I thought she was going to cut me up and feed me to the poor.