Valentine

Dorothy Wheeler:
Excuse me, who are you?

Ruthie:
That's none of your business.

Campbell Morris:
Don't worry, she's nobody.

Ruthie:
Yeah, I'm nobody. I'm just the idiot who's still waiting for a return on my Internet investment.

Ruthie:
What did you call it? Bleed-Me-Dry.com?

Paige Prescott:
Does somebody wanna be my Valentine?

Dorothy Wheeler:
When you are old enough to rent a car, we can talk about your role as my stepmother.

Kate Davies:
He's no angel, but he's not a killer.

Max Raimi:
What's the problem?

Lily Voight:
The problem is that you turned out to be a cheap, hypocritical sleazeball!

Max Raimi:
Yeah, but you knew that. So... does this mean you're not gonna be my Valentine?

Shelley Fisher:
Jason, I'm not a doctor yet, but it's my considered opinion you seek psychiatric help. Soon!

Paige Prescott:
Detective Vaughn, please remove your hand from my thigh.

Det. Leon Vaughn:
Okay, where would you like me to put it?

Paige Prescott:
How about up your ass?

Kate Davies:
Which one of the twelve steps this?

Adam Carr:
Kate! There you are. You know, I have been looking all over for you.

Kate Davies:
And I wasn't at the bottom of the bottle?

Gary Taylor:
You look great, Kate. How about a date, Kate? You could be my mate, Kate.

Kate Davies:
You're scary, Gary.

Gary Taylor:
This could be our fate, Kate.

Jeremy Melton:
Ummm, Paige, will you dance with me?

Young Paige Prescott:
I'd rather be boiled alive.

Shelley Fisher:
The journey of love is an arduous trek, My love grows for you as you bleed from your neck.

Dorothy Wheeler:
Come on Kate! You've always been the popular one, and Shelley was always the brainy one, and Lily was the fun one, and Paige was the sexy one, and I was the big, fat one! And as far as you're concerned, that's exactly the way that it is. Well, you know what? Screw all of you!

Shelley Fisher:
Strong silent type, how refreshing!

Dorothy Wheeler:
Roses are red, Violets are Blue, They'll need dental records to identify you.

Kate Davies:
I haven't really completely broken up with Adam yet.

Paige Prescott:
But you will. Believe me, relationships don't make U-turns and Adam's a drunk.

Kate Davies:
He's not a drunk. He's a borderline addictive personality who happens to like alcohol a lot.

Adam Carr:
All I can think is when someone is that lonely or that angry they can learn to hide it. But inside, it never dies. It just stays there. Eats away at you. Until one day, you have to do something about it.

Dorothy Wheeler:
Oh, get your hands off me, you mail order bride from HELL!