Waiting...

Motto/Slogan:
What happens in the kitchen, ends up on the plate.

Floyd:
Welcome to the Thunderdome, b*tch!

Floyd:
Sir yes sir! Blue cheese for you stat! Have a good day big guy.

Floyd:
Yes Masta..Right away, Masta..Ain't gonna be no bacon on the salad, Masta...no bacon..oh no no no.

Floyd:
Yeah! Carpe deez nuts! God, I can't wait to quit this job!

Floyd:
F*** you, b*tch!

Monty:
Correct me if I'm wrong, but haven't I been inside you?

Monty:
Come on, Mom. Of course I'm being safe. I pull out.

Monty:
You think I want to have kids? Absolutely not. That's why I stick to anal sex.

Monty:
Dean, doesn't my mom look old? I mean, much older than she rightfully should?

Monty:
Nothing worse than going to the back room for some condiments and ending up staring at a huge, steamy pile of cock. [Shudders]

Monty:
Mitch, you picked a f***ed-up night to start working here.

Monty:
I'd do her (Amy). Hell I'd probably even pay. [chuckles] ...I would.

Monty:
It's okay, I understand how it works. Birds of a feather flock to vagina.

Monty:
Mama said they my magic shoes. Mama say they take me anywhere. Of course Mama use to beat me with a rubber hose and call me a retard.

Monty:
Damn child proof lighters.

Monty:
It's so angry!

Monty:
I guess we should feel some sort of guilt, but she broke the cardinal rule: Don't f*** with people who handle your food.

Monty:
What, the f***, ever!

Monty:
Everyone knows that I'm orally fixated, and you can't deny that I played your vagina like a violin.

Monty:
With women, it's always one of two things. Either they won't sleep with you, and then there's really no need to ever call them again. Or they DO sleep with you... and then there's really no need to ever call them again.

Monty:
(to the man with Alzheimer's) Well, Alzheimer's can't be all bad. You get to meet new people everyday.

Monty:
Women. They're so f***ing wiley.

Monty:
It's like a horrible time paradox, where neither our wisdom, nor your virginity ever escape.

Monty:
[In the bathroom with Mitch, his shirt off] I know what you're thinking now. You think we're all gay, don't you? Think we're all just a bunch of deviant lifestyle-living same-sex having motherf***ers, am I right? Well, listen. You can put that faggoty baby to bed right now. None of the guys that work here are gay. [Puts his shirt back on] I mean, I'll stick my finger up my ass when I'm feeling a little squirelly every now and then, but that's about the extent of it.

Monty:
And as if some kind of slut magic, POOF, you appear at my door

Monty:
All right everybody, listen up, from here on out, Mitch is a made man. Anyone who has anything different to say, Nick and T-Dog will f***in' cut you!

Monty:
You see, I don't work within the exact boundaries of the law because I wasn't consulted when the goddamn laws were made. No, instead, nameless, faceless politicians, the so-called protectors of the moral majority decide what is right and what is wrong. I mean, come on! I govern my life around my own personal code of ethics, and I suggest that you do the same. That way if, within the constructs of my own morality I were to do something that was considered illegal, so be it. I feel no guilt whatsoever. And furthermore, if I were to buckle under the social weight of the system by adhering to laws that I do not truly believe in, then I would be extinguishing the very fire of patriotism and individuality.

Monty:
That was the SH*T! (After Mitch's rant)

Monty:
Did you see the tits at table 12?

Naomi:
Foreigners! I f***ing hate foreigners!

Naomi:
(to Bishop, after offering her anger management counciling) You would do that for me? I appreciate that. I really do. But I think I'd rather you just WASH THE F***ING DISHES AND SHUT THE F*** UP! F***ing psychobabble bullshit a**hole!

Naomi:
What! (to Mitch). What do you want! Get back in the f***ing training room ass cock! God damn these f***ing cooks. I hate them..I HATE THEM! Twenty minutes for two medium rare steaks. This is bullshit! They need to get rid of everyone of these lousy cock sucking (emerges from kitchen) So how is everything?

Naomi:
I hate this f***ing place sometimes, you know. Why the f*** do we need four more people on at this time of day, man? Look at this place, it's f***ing dead! I swear, Dan needs to clean the *sh*t* out of his f***ing brain sometimes, man. F***ing a**hole.[Sees Mitch for the first time] What are you looking at, f***-wad?

Nick:
B*tch, what makes you think I won't cut you?

Theodore:
(to Bishop) Man, f*** you, whitey!

Theodore:
(To Monty) How many time I gotta tell you man, its the F***in T-Dog yo.

Serena:
Take anything that he gives you, with a shot of penicillin.

Serena:
Unless you're combing the playground for middle schoolers, don't become an a**hole like Monty.

Serena:
So, you know that weird, paranoid feeling you get when you hear people laughing and you think they're laughing at you when they're really not? Well, in your case, they actually are.

Raddimus:
If it's gonna be that kind of party, I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes.

Raddimus:
I can't believe how many homos we got workin' in here!

Raddimus:
And that is the Lincoln. Now remember you have to shave it so it looks like a beard or it doesn't count.

Raddimus:
Oohh, it's so veiny!

Raddimus:
You can't forget this, all right? You got to call them a fag, okay? The game loses all its meaning if you don't humilate them for being a f***ing meatgazer, you got that?

Raddimus:
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing? Come on, man. You can't be mixing Mexican and Continental. Come on, Man. I thought you was better than that.

Calvin:
Stop staring at my dick!

Calvin:
Well, it's official now. My penis is just for show.

Calvin:
Look at the bat-wing, b*tch!

Dan:
Ma'am, I don't doubt the steak was overcooked, but did you have to eat it all BEFORE you complained about it?

ShenaniganZ Customers:
I want a single shot of whisky, and a double shot of whisky, and she'll have water. You know, what the hell. It's our anniversary. Would you bring her a Pepsi?

ShenaniganZ Customers:
I don't mean to be a b*tch, but the last four times we've come here the food was awful.

ShenaniganZ Customers:
Well. I want a hot pink center.

ShenaniganZ Customers:
I think I might name my daughter chlamydia.

ShenaniganZ Customers:
It's good in a sense that I can take walks in my underwear; I can give small children the middle finger. But as long as I look happy while I'm doing it, people just assume I'm senile.... Well, sometimes I give small children the middle finger and don't realize I'm doing it until someone slaps me, so I really am going senile.

Monty:
Hello, Natasha. How's my favorite little minor doing today?

Natasha:
Hungover. I got so shitfaced last night.

Monty:
On a school night? Kids today.

Monty:
[Amy returns from a tougue-lashing from The B*tch customer] Women troubles, Amy?

Amy:
I don't know what could cause someone to act like such a total b*tch to a complete stranger!

Monty:
Maybe she was sexually abused as a child.

Amy:
Oh god, I f***ing hope so!

Monty:
Oh, Tyla, everytime I see you, I wish I was a lesbian.

Tyla:
That's so interesting, because every time I see you, I'm glad I'm a lesbian.

Monty:
So, what do you think of Natasha?

Dean:
I think she's illegal.

Monty:
I know, I've made peace with that. But look at her. You just KNOW she has that Scooby-Doo tongue.

Dean:
[In Scooby-Doo voice] Ratuatory rape!

Monty:
Gentlemen, we have got our first official bi-atch of the day!

Serena:
Oh, come on, guys. She wasn't THAT bad, was she?

Monty:
Well, Amy, it's your table. [Holds his thumb out horizontally] Choice is yours.

Amy:
That woman...[Starts to give a thumbs-up, but then switches to a thumbs-down] Is a f***ing b*tch, DO IT!

Calvin:
You really are an a**hole!

Monty:
Shenaniganz!

Calvin:
Come on, guys! It's been over 30 minutes, where's my chicken sandwich?

Floyd:
F*** you, b*tch!

Calvin:
What the f*** did I ever do you, man?

Floyd:
[Picks up a piece of chicken with his tongs and sings into it] "Eat at Shenaniganz, enjoy your food! Eat at Shenaniganz, Calvin works here!"

Calvin:
Oh, yeah, that's sanitary.

Mitch:
Hey, could you turn down the music for a minute?

Man:
Hold on.

Mitch:
Would you turn the music down for a second?

Man:
Dude, chill!

{Mitch gets irritated}

Mitch:
WOULD YOU TURN DOWN {Aggressively cuts off radio himself} THE F***ING MUSIC!? JESUS! THIS IS F***ING BULLSHIT! I HAVE BEEN HERE ALL GODDAMN DAY AND YOU HAVEN'T LET ME SAY ONE THING! NONE OF YOU!!

Monty:
Well, damn, Mitch I…

Mitch:
Oh no, a**hole, you shut the f*** up now! It’s my turn to talk! You're all f***ed in the head! All of you!

{Looks at Naomi}

Mitch:
I mean you! Change your f***ing tampon and have another drink, you crazy f***ing b*tch!

{Looks towards Dean}

Mitch:
And you! “Waaah, I don’t know what to be when I grow up”! Join the f***ing Army or something! God damn!

{To Calvin}

Mitch:
Ah, and you... You know what? You're too easy.

{To Amy}

Mitch:
Oh and you, whining ALL GODDAMN DAY about Dean! You’re hot! Quit acting so f***ing pathetic!

{To Monty}

Mitch:
And you… F*** YOU, MONTY! ALWAYS GOTTA BE RIGHT WITH YOUR LITTLE QUIPS! We get it man, you're f***ing edgy and cool! Yeah! You're the COOLEST F***ING GUY AT SHENANIGANZ! WHEEEEW!!! That’s like being the most smartest kid with Down Syndrome! Oh yeah, and why aren’t you in jail? [To Natasha] I mean, what are you? 13, 14?

Monty:
She’s almost 18...

Mitch:
You know what? F*** this! You all suck. I quit.

Mitch:
Oh, yeah. There is one more thing. You. You are the biggest piece of sh*t in this entire restaurant and I hope you burn in Hell.

Floyd:
Me? What? What the f*** did I do to you, man? Seriously?!

Raddimus:
THE GOAT! You bastard, the goat!

Mitch:
F***ing faggots.

Monty:
That was the SH*T! [runs after Mitch] Mitch! Mitch! Stop please. Look, look. Stop, stop. Okay I am sorry, and I hearby swear my undying allegiance to you. You are the f***ing man.

Monty:
That's Naomi, and she's been working here WAY too long. But, she's actually a pretty sweet girl...when she's drunk.

Monty:
[Regarding Nick and T-Dog] Those guys should be sterilized, and I'm not kidding at all.

Monty:
OH, WHAT-THE-F***-EVER!

Theodore:
We'll run this city like the mother-f***ing mob!

Serena:
As if that negates the fact that once we got past foreplay, you turned into the Little Engine Who Couldn't Hold His Load.

Dan:
Okay, Nicholas, Theodore. Boys. It doesn't take ten minutes to take out the trash. Now, if you don't get your asses out front and start doing some work, I'm going to fire you faster than you can say, "Yo, MTV Raps"!

Dan:
And remember: the difference between ordinary and extraordinary... is that little something extra. Alright, that's all I have for you. Have a great shift. Oh, and, uh, push the fish, it's about to turn.