Waterboy

Bobby Boucher:
Now that's what I call high quality H2O.

Coach Klein:
Bobby, can you do that for me every game?

Bobby Boucher:
Coach, not only will I do it for you, I... I... I... yes, yes, I'll do it for you.

Townie:
You can do it.

Coach Klein:
Gatorade not only quenches your thirst better, it tastes better too.

Bobby Boucher:
No.

Coach Klein:
Gatorade.

Bobby Boucher:
H2O.

Coach Klein:
Gatorade.

Bobby Boucher:
H2O.

Coach Klein:
Water sucks. It really, really sucks. Water sucks.

Bobby Boucher:
My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.

Bobby Boucher:
"Well I like school... and I like football... and I'm gonna keep doin' 'em both because they make me feel good.

Bobby Boucher:
And by the way, Mama... alligators are ornery because of their medulla oblongata.

Bobby Boucher:
And I like Vicki and she likes me back. And she showed me her boobies and I like them too."

Lawrence Taylor:
Which brings me to my second point, kids. Don't do crack.

Paco:
I am not what you would call a handsome man. The good Lord chose not to bless me with... with charm, athletic ability... or a fully functional brain. You see, you're an inspriation, to all of us who... who weren't born handsome, and charming and cool, and and...

Bobby Boucher:
Nice hit, Mama.

Mama Boucher:
Thanks baby. Now you go on and have some fun becomin' a man.

Mama Boucher:
It's the devil.

Walter:
Let's kick some names and take some ass.

Paco:
Look at Bobby tackle. I haven't seen a tackle like that since Joe Montana.

Walter:
Joe Montana was a quarterback, you idiot.

Paco:
I said Joe Mantegna.

Mama Boucher:
No son of mine is gonna play any foos-ball.

Townie:
We suck again.

Guy Grenouille:
Nice going shithead. You lost us the football game.

Bobby Boucher:
Sorry. Will you please still be my friend?

Guy Grenouille:
No, Get away.

Coach Red Beaulieu:
That's kinda like my old man told me one time, Lynn. The only thing better than a crawfish dinner, is five crawfish dinners.

Bobby Boucher:
Excuse me ladies while I just go kill myself.