Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp

Jonas:
[answers the phone] Mess Hal, Jonas Jurchinsen. Hello.

Victor:
[disguising his voice] Yes, this is the Food Inspector. We've just received word that your food is contaminated with dick farts. [Neil and Victor laughing in the background]

Jonas:
What did you say?

Victor:
I said your stupid kitchen food apparently has a dick in it and that dick has apparently farted and now your entire kitchen smells like dick farts. [Neil makes fart noises] [more laughter]

Jonas:
This isn't the Food Inspector. The Food Inspector wouldn't call me at this time of day, who is this?

Victor:
I'm gonna kill you and f*** you.

Jonas:
Who is this?

Victor:
It's your butt hole! [attempts to hang up the phone and laughs hysterically, not noticing the phone falls off the hook]

Neil:
Oh my God, Victor, that was awesome! Victor, do you think he knew it was you, Victor? Victor, do you think he knew it was you, Victor?

Jonas:
[still listening on the other end] Victor Pulak.

Victor:
[suddenly stops laughing and nervously picks up the phone] Hello... why don't you go f*** a s-soup?

Jonas:
How bout I cook you, like a soup? I'll filter you through cheese cloth for stock and add fresh vegetables and grains. And once I'm done... I'm gonna kill you.

Victor:
[to Neil] He said he's gonna kill me. Like a soup. I'm not sure what to do. Should I hang up? Should I say thank you?

Neil:
No! No!

Victor:
Thank you. [hangs up]