What's Up Doc

Professor Howard Bannister:
You've changed, Claudia. You used to be so...frumpy.

Claudia:
That's right, Howard, I have changed. From now on, I'm going to greet you at the door with a drink in my hand, wearing something slinky. It may make me violently ill, but I'm going to do it.

Judy Maxwell:
[disguised as a delivery boy from a Chinese restaurant] And now is time for fortune cookie.

Claudia:
[incredulously] At the beginning of the meal?

Judy Maxwell:
That's right. [breaks open a cookie and pretends to read fortune] Get ready for big surprise because we - [gesturing to Howard] he and I - are in love!

Claudia:
Oh my God! A gay Chinese! [faints]

Claudia:
[coming to and looking closely at Judy] Wait. You're not gay. You're not even Chinese. You're...you're...Brahmsy!

Fireman #1:
Did you get a look at the broad on the roof?

Fireman #2:
Yeah, put a body suit on her and she'd look just like George Reeves.

Claudia:
You took Howard away from me. [looks closely at Judy] And you did it by being cute, didn't you?

Judy Maxwell:
[trying to be modest] Yes.

Claudia:
Well, I'm going to be cute, too. I'm going to be so cute that Howard won't know what hit him!

Judy Maxwell:
Claudia, that's great! Would it be too much to suggest that you come down from the roof with me now?

Claudia:
Don't be ridiculous! I said I was going to be cute. Cute people always do what they say they're going to. [jumps off roof and lands, unhurt, in bushes]

Claudia:
[as she tries to untangle herself] Some days it's not even worth getting up!