What a Girl Wants

Ian:
Why are trying so hard to fit in when you are born to stand out.

Jocelyn Dashwood:
No hugging dear. I'm British, we only show affection to dogs and horses.

Libby Reynolds:
I love you a million Swedish Fish.

Daphne Reynolds:
I love you a million red M&M's.

Glynnis Payne:
I know my daddy was naughty, but what about me?

Clarissa:
Oh very you, lovely. So Henry asked us to give to give you a few pointers, didn't he? Well, Pointer number 1 go home, mother and I belong here and it's quite clear you just don't fit in. And Pointer number 2 while you're packing, keep your grimy little yanky paws off Armistead Stuart, he's mine.

Daphne Reynolds:
If you take your nose out of the air for one second you'll see you're designer I'm vintage. You've got a mansion I've got a five floor walkup. You're a snotty little miss cranky pants and I go with the flow, so why would you ever think for one second that I'd ever have the same taste in guys. So here's a little pointer for you. Get over yourself and stop trying to be my daddy's little girl because I'm not going anywhere.

Glynnis Payne:
Darling we have to get Lubby here an escort.

Daphne Reynolds:
It's Libby, and why doesn't he just ask her himself.

Glynnis Payne:
Oh put a cork in it Clarissa.

Clarissa:
Maybe someone should've put a cork in it seventeen years ago.

Daphne Reynolds:
It's bigger than our entire apartment and the Chinese restaurant downstairs and the dry cleaner down the street, it makes the white house look like a McDonalds.

Henry Dashwood:
Remember when I told you how groovy I used to be?

Clarissa:
That girl is totally barbaric!

Glynnis Payne:
Now Daphne, we don't want to make a scene now do we.

Libby Reynolds:
Take your hand off my daughter or you won't get a scene you'll get a Broadway Musical!

Henry Dashwood:
I'm sorry, I...

Libby Reynolds:
Do you think I've waited 17 years for an apology?

Daphne Reynolds:
Every year I would wish if that I was good enough you would come and find me.

Clarissa:
I will, absolutely,

Clarissa:
not.

Henry Dashwood:
You like Co-co Puffs?

Daphne Reynolds:
It's chocolate! Need I say more?

Daphne Reynolds:
I had you down as an all bran man.

Glynnis Payne:
Darling, darling, all I'm saying is before we let this hypothetical daughter blow your political career out of the water, we might at least consider doing some checking up on her.

Henry Dashwood:
Now, checking up for what?

Glynnis Payne:
I don't know... criminal record, blood type, triple sixes on her skull.

Henry Dashwood:
I'm not explaining this very well am I.

Daphne Reynolds:
No, not really. But I'm having fun watching you try.

Henry Dashwood:
I hope you find you sleeping arrangements conducive to...

Daphne Reynolds:
Henry, all it takes is sweet dreams.

Daphne Reynolds:
Hey! What are you doing here?

Ian:
You know, just another one of my glamourous jobs.

Daphne Reynolds:
Oh.

Clarissa:
Seems you had a better time in Morocco than you let on.

Henry:
I think I owe you a rather large apology.

Libby:
Do you think I've waited 17 years for an apology?

Henry:
You like co-co pops?

Daphne:
Dude, its chocolate. Need I say more?

Clarissa:
[Sees Daphne fall over the wall] Did you see that?

Glynnis:
What?

Clarissa:
An impossibly large bird falling off that wall.

Glynnis:
Are you hallucinating?

[Waves her hand in front of her face]

Henry:
For me, it's just a stop on the campaign trail, and for Glynnis it's a chance to launch Clarissa on society.

Daphne:
Launch her? You make her sound like a ship.

Henry:
No, in Clarissa's case it's more like an intercontinental ballistic missile

Henry:
So are you and Daphne...

Ian:
Eloping together. Yeah. I realize it's a bit sudden but after last night, there was really no turning back.

Henry:
You are joking aren't you?

Ian:
Yes, of course.

Glynnis:
[Takes a bite of her eggs] These eggs are positively glacial. When I run this house, senile servants will be the first thing to go.

Clarissa:
You'd have to get around the old bat somehow. She'd never allow it.

Jocelyn Dashwood:
(walking in) Anyone seen my pruning shears? The old bat seems to have forgotten where she put them.

Daphne Reynolds:
My evil stepsister, you've seen Cinderella, right? Let me clue you in, I win.

Henry Dashwood:
I think I owe you a rather large apology.

Henry Dashwood:
You like Co-co Pops?

Henry Dashwood:
I'm not explaining this very well, am I?

Henry Dashwood:
For me, it's just a stop on the campaign trail, and for Glynnis it's a chance to launch Clarissa on society.

Henry Dashwood:
No, in Clarissa's case it's more like an intercontinental ballistic missile.

Clarissa:
[after Daphne walks out in fashion show] Holy poo on toast.

Jocelyn Dashwood:
(to Daphne) Everybody's rooting for you to fail. That's what makes it fun.

[Henry has announced that he is withdrawing from the election.]

Alistair:
Are you out of your mind? I have done everything in my power to get you to this position, and I will not let you throw it all away!

Henry:
Alistair, you've lied to me, I know you lied to Libby, so forgive me if I don't give a flying fart in space what you think.

Alistair:
Libby?! I stopped you from ruining your life! I saved your family's reputation! When I found out that that girl was pregnant, I knew I was doing the right thing.

Henry:
[Realizes] You knew about Daphne?

Alistair:
Of course I knew. It's my job to know.

[Losing control of his rage, Henry punches Alistair in the jaw.]

Clarissa:
[Horrified] Grandpa! Are you okay? This is horrible.

Alistair:
[Angrily] Do shut up!

Glynnis:
[Stops Henry before he can leave] Henry, darling! Henry! I know Daddy's been naughty, but what about me?

Henry:
[Coldly] You'll survive.

[Glynnis looks heartbroken and devastated. Henry makes his way outside.]

Ian Wallace:
You know, just another one of my glamorous jobs.