What Happens Next

[first lines]

Paul:
[voiceover] My day starts at 6:30 AM. I don't need an alarm clock. I wake up every day and dress for my role as CEO. That means fifty tailored suits at all times. Right now I have fifty-four. Dress shirts - very important: one-twenty-eight; crisp white - always best; an occasional pale yellow or blue. Now, a tie says everything about a man. Silk. Ties should only be silk: eighty stripes; a dozen solids. Oh, and one rogue paisley my sister bought me in Palm Beach - probably hammered at noon. Shoes: black and brown; lace-up only. Well, if this all sounds like much of the same, it's because it is. My routine, my life, my business served me well for thirty-one years, yet today I am cashing it all in. And, for the fist time in my life, I'll be working for someone else. That's a big change for me - and I'm not real good with change, as you can tell.

Paul:
Mindy, there's a hundred old dogs within one square block that desire nothing more than the name "Mrs. Grecco."

Andy:
Oh, hi. I'm Andy. Th... this is Bean. He's kind of a snob but he plays well with others.

Brian:
We don't agree on anything. It's like she has this picture in her head of what... of what she thinks I'm supposed to be, of what she thinks is socially acceptable, you know, of what she thinks is important.

Andy:
Ouch. You punched your friend? In the nose?

Paul:
Yes, and I'd do it again.

Andy:
Are you sure about that?

Paul:
Goodbye, Andy.

Paul:
I sure as sh*t don't know what happens next.

Andy:
I know it sounds crazy, but I... I think he may be coming out.

Roz:
Coming out? Over fifty? If that's not dragging it across the finish line, I don't know what is.

Harry:
Sorry I took so long.

Roz:
Why don't I ever hear that when we're having sex?

Andy:
Shut up. At least you're having sex.

Elise:
I do not understand. And, I am just telling you, right now, that if you are even considering having some sort of a mid life crisis, then I am going to have a full-blown nervous breakdown.

Paul:
Is that the same nervous breakdown you've been working on for twenty-five years?

Ruthie:
You ever hear of PFLAG?

Elise:
No, and I don't think I like the sound of it, either.

Ruthie:
No-no-no, it's... it's for people like you. You know, people who have a friend or a family member who's gay and they don't know what the hell to do.

Andy:
You can't even say it, can you?

Elise:
Well, of course I can.

Andy:
Then say it?

Elise:
But this is just silly.

Andy:
Say it!

Elise:
All right. G-A-Y - "gay." Are you happy now?

Andy:
[evenly] I'm overjoyed.