What Love Is

Sal:
You don't think I got feelings? Let me tell you something, I got more feelings in my left nut than you too school girls put together

Wayne:
Oh my god I'm so excited, I'm harder than Chinese math.

Ken:
That's what you get when you're deal with a woman who thinks her entire self worth is determined by the content of her resume.

Sal:
I know I'm not supposed to say anything here because as a white heterosexual male, by definition I am wrong about everything from jumpstreet. I know that. I know I can't win.

Sal:
Right now I'm going to rip him a new f***ing a**hole

Wayne:
Ooh that sounds fun!

Sal:
Verbally you pervert!

George:
What about intellectually? What about emotionally?

Sal:
What about emotionally or intellectually? Now a days most women think monogamy is a type of wood. They don't know how to be it and they certainly don't know how to spell it. And they say men cheat? Well who the f*** do you think we're cheating with? Certainly not you Wayne. You think I'm going to get emotionally connected to a woman like that, I don't think so. And if I want intellectual stimulation motherf***er I'll read a book.

Katherine:
I couldn't get this man to go down on me if we were on the Titanic

Katherine:
They know they aint never gonna be Mr. Right, they're just happy being Mr. Right Now.

Rachel:
You can't argue the subject with me because you just used a word that does not exist.

Laura:
Really? And what word is that?

Rachel:
Always. You used the word always, and always is the key to every woman's heartbreak.

Laura:
Why?

Rachel:
Because we expect that he will always be there, we expect that we will always be loved no matter what we do or what we look like, well that is clearly not the case now is it, because we get fat and we get old, we get traded in for younger models every day. So the simple truth is the only always is that everything changes. And in my experience men's whims are the most changeable of all, so No, I guess is the answer to your question is no I do not want some guy to tell me that he is Always gonna be there to protect me from the scary noises at night because then I'm gonna know he's a liar. I can protect myself just fine thank you very much.

Debbie:
No Laura, Rachel tells them the truth, not what they want to hear but the actual truth. And I think that's pretty admirable considering the fact that culturally as women we're conditioned to lie.

Laura:
What are you talking about?

Katherine:
Yeah, I've got to hear this.

Debbie:
Alright fine listen, you know how a man if he has sex with like a hundred women he's considered a stud, but if a woman sleeps with like ten guys she's considered a whore, so how the hell does a woman not start feeling like she has to lie with the pressure of that kind of ridiculous double standard.

Laura:
That's not lying , that's just not giving all the information.

Katherine:
That's shady

Debbie:
No that's justification.

Laura:
No that's reality. If me weren't so infantile about confronting their woman's history then we wouldn't have to lie would we, I mean do you know how much easier my last relationship would have been if I didn't have to deal with the did you f*** him questions all the time.

Laura:
I don't know Deb, is it lying to tell a child that there is a Santa Claus if it makes them feel better about Christmas

Debbie:
I don't know Laura, it is lying about not telling a man about f***ing the Raiders if it makes him feel better about marrying you?

Katherine:
It's not about the sex sweetie, anyone can have sex, it's about the walk up the stairs.

Wayne:
I can not tell you what a positive attitude can do for the overall performance of a blowj*b.

Ken:
Women don't make a move until they're ready. They can be with a guy for two years and spend the last 6 months trying to get over the guy so that when they're ready to move on, they just move on. Guys are totally different, when they break up they do if fast, but they can spend years trying to get over the girl because usually they don't think it through.

George:
[after seeing Wayne hugging Sal] Oh, my God, Sal's gay!

Tom:
I know you got a lot on your mind. I know you got a lot of things to figure out. And, uh, up until very recently I thought I needed you here. With me in my life to feel the way I feel about you. But just all of a sudden I just suddenly realized I don't. I mean, I want us to be together and everything. But I just realized I don't need you here with me in order for me to love you. Cause I'm always gonna love you. And if you were to leave right now and go to China for 6 months, I'm still gonna love you. And if you gain 50lbs, I'm still gonna love you. And, you know what, if after the moment I never see you again, I'm still gonna love you. And if you don't feel that way about me, I know it's gotta be tough on ya, 'cause, it's been hell on me as it is. And I know that your the greatest thing that ever was. And I'm just lucky to have spent the last three years of my life with you. [... ] I think you should go and figure out whatever it is you need to figure out. And if you wanna come back, come back. And if you don't, that's cool too. You gotta know that you are the love of my life. And I'm just lucky to have known you. Good night Sara

Amy:
Do you know what love really is, Tom? Love is a one way street, going from you out. And you give it because it makes you feel good to give it. Because when you give it, it makes you strong. And that crazy, vulnerable, out of control scary feeling, feeling that most people think is love? It's not really love at all; it's just the need to be loved. And believe me, its a really different thing. Real love isn't "I love you" hoping the other person is going to say it too. It's just, I love you. Its like giving someone a gift at Christmas, and if you get anything back, that's a bonus, that's extra. But you shouldn't NEED to receive it, cause the true strength is in the giving of it. But then again, that's just what I think. And what do I know? I don't know anything.