White Men Can't Jump

Sidney Deane:
You see Billy it's like this, you either smoke or you get smoked. And you got smoked.

Sidney Deane:
You can put a cat in an oven, but that don't make it a biscuit.

Sidney Deane:
Oh man shut your anorexic malnutrition tapeworm-having overdose on Dick Gregory Bohemian diet-drinking ass up. Leave me alone!

Sidney Deane:
Hey hey man, what's the score? Yo! Chump! I'm talking to you! I'm talking to the f***ing air.

Billy Hoyle:
My name ain't chump, it's Billy Hoyle.

Sidney Deane:
Billy Hoyle. BILLY HOYLE. Billy Hoyle. Okay Billy... can you count to ten, Billy?

Billy Hoyle:
Yeah.

Sidney Deane:
Good. What's the score... Billy?

Billy Hoyle:
I don't know.

Sidney Deane:
Then you're a chump.

Billy Hoyle:
I may be a chump, I just said that wasn't my name.

Sidney Deane:
Can anybody step in for this guy? Anybody, for Mr. Motherf***ing March of Dimes?

Sidney Deane:
Billy, listen to me. White men can't jump.

Sidney Deane:
I don't mean to brag... but I'm the greatest!

Billy Hoyle:
You are so stupid. It would take your mother 1, no. 2 hours to watch 60 MINUTES.

Sidney Deane:
Don't start that sh*t again.

Billy Hoyle:
You calling me ugly?

Sidney Deane:
Your mother did.

Billy Hoyle:
I'll tell you what. Why don't we take all these bricks and build a shelter for the homeless, so maybe your mother will have a place to stay.

Sidney Deane:
Billy, I have four words for you: "Listen to the Woman".

Billy Hoyle:
What the hell does that mean, "Listen to the woman"? I TRIED to listen to the woman and you're the one who talked me out of it.

Sidney Deane:
Wait a minute. I didn't talk you out of anything. I presented you with an option and you took it.

Sidney Deane:
I have four words for you: Listen to the woman?

Billy Hoyle:
What the hell does that mean? I TRIED to!

Billy Hoyle:
A black man would rather miss than look bad.

Rhonda Deane:
All I care about is getting out of the Vista View apartments, because there ain't no 'vista', there ain't no "view", and there certainly ain't no vista of no view.

Gloria:
Teammates can't hustle each other.

Rhonda:
Why not?

Gloria:
It's not artistic.

Gloria:
The money was mine to keep for both of us when Jeopardy called.

Billy:
Jeopardy is not going to call, when are you going to f***in' wake up.

Gloria:
Jeopardy is going to call Billy, it is my destiny that I triumph magnificently on that show and I'll never do that if I have to wear this stupid hoochie-mama looking dress that you bought me which was obviously a poor excuse to cover up the fact that you f***ed up again! I'm going to get on that motherfucking show, and I'm going to win, because I'm filled with more useless goddamn information than any human being on this f***ing planet! Who's James K. Polk? How many moons are on Pluto? What's a quince? It's a food, Billy, that starts with the letter Q, and I got seven more! I can't believe you lost the goddamn money!

Referee:
Black ball.

Dwight:
What the f*** do you mean, black ball?

Willie:
Are you racist?

Referee:
Your jersey, not your skin.

Willie:
I knew you were a racist

Dominic Wilson:
Parkie you are number 1!

Sydney Deane:
It's hard work makin' you look so bad.

Billy Hoyle:
You still putting up bricks? What is this a masons convention? Clang!! Clang!! I need welding torch to play in this leauge. Lets stop right now and gather up all these bricks and build a shelter for the homeless so that your mother will have a place to live. I want your Mother and Sister out of my house immediately !!

Billy Hoyle:
A white man wants to win first, look good second. A black man wants to look good first, win second.

Billy Hoyle:
Yo, pretty boy! I looked up basketball player in the dictionary and it said 'Not you!'.

Billy Hoyle:
You're too pretty to play basketball, you know that? You got that Z in your 'fro! Hey man, what are you, the Black Zorro?

Billy Hoyle:
Keep singin' guys... My old man was a preacher... I love this sh*t!

Billy Hoyle:
Who you callin' a pilgrim motherf***er? Gobble this turkey!

Billy Hoyle:
I'm in a f***in' zone!

Billy Hoyle:
It is hard God damn work, making something this pretty look like a chump!

Gloria:
See. if I'm thirsty. I don't want a glass of water, I want you to sympathize. I want you to say, "Gloria, I too know what it feels like to be thirsty. I too have had a dry mouth." I want you to connect with me through sharing and understanding the concept of dry mouthedness.

Junior:
We goin' Sizzla! We goin' Sizzla!

Zeke:
No, no, no, no...Billy Boy, this is Ghana. You, my friend, are shooting for The Sudan.

Junior:
Billy Ho! Good ta see ya Billy ya look swell!

Raymond:
who rattled your cage d*ckhead?