Willow

High Aldwin:
Magic is the bloodstream of the universe.

Willow:
See this acorn? I'll throw it at you and turn you to stone!

Madmartigan:
Ooh, I'm really scared. Help! There's a peck with an acorn pointed at me!

Willow:
Don't call me a peck!

Madmartigan:
Oh I'm sorry! Peck! Peck! Peck, peck, peck, peck, peck!

Willow:
What are you doing?

Madmartigan:
I found some blackroot. She loves it.

Willow:
Blackroot? I'm the father of two children. You never, ever give a baby blackroot.

Madmartigan:
Well my mother raised me on blackroot. It's good for you. It put's hair on your chest, doesn't it, Sticks?

Willow:
Her name is not Sticks! She's Alora Dannen, the future empress of Tir Asleen and the last thing she's gonna want is a hairy chest!

Sorsha:
What are you looking at?

Madmartigan:
Your leg. I'd like to break it.

Madmartigan:
I love you Sorsha!

Sorsha:
Stop saying that!

Madmartigan:
What happened back there?

Willow:
You started spouting poetry. "I love you Sorsha! I worship you Sorsha!" You almost got us killed!

Madmartigan:
"I love you Sorsha?" I don't love her, she kicked me in the face! I hate her... Don't I?

Sorsha:
What happened to "You are my sun, my moon, my starlit sky"?

Madmartigan:
It went away.

Sorsha:
"I dwell in darkness without you," and it *went away*?

Willow:
I've sent her... I've sent her to a realm where evil cannot harm her!

Bavmorda:
That's impossible! There's no such place!

Franjean:
You are drunk, and when you are drunk you forget that I am in charge!

Rool:
Fine, then which way should we go?

Fin Raziel:
W-w-i-l-l-o-w! You i-i-i-i-d-iot!

Franjean:
Don't I know you? I stole the baby from you while you were taking a peepee!

Madmartigan:
What are you going to look like if this works?

Fin Raziel:
Don't interrupt.

Madmartigan:
Sorry.

Fin Raziel:
I'm a young beautiful woman.

Madmartigan:
Concentrate, Willow!

Rool:
You are so beautiful! Your eyes! Your whiskers! I must kiss you!

Franjean:
Stupid dikini.

Fin Raziel:
I have Cherlindrea's wand, Bavmorda!

Rool:
Thats Raziel?

Franjean:
I don't know, I expected something more grand, less...

Rool:
Fuzzy.

Franjean:
Fuzzy.

Rool:
We'll never catch up with those horses!

Franjean:
Then we will have to track them.

Rool:
That would take forever. Besides, even if we found them, they'd capture us, stick us in cages, torture us and then finally devour us!

Franjean:
Are you suggesting we go home?

Rool:
Nah, this is more fun.

Franjean:
All right, fine then. Come on!

Willow:
Don't feed black-root to the baby!

Willow:
Here are her changing rags and her milk bladder.

Madmartigan:
Any milk in there?

Willow:
It's for her!

Madmartigan:
I wouldn't steal from a baby. You worry too much, Peck.

Meegosh:
It's Willow!

Madmartigan:
That's magic? It smells terrible.

Willow:
It's the life spark. It forms...

Madmartigan:
Well it stinks! This whole thing stinks!

Willow:
We need your help!

Madmartigan:
My help? Why? You're a sorcerer.

Willow:
You're a warrior and a swordsman. And you're 10 times bigger than I am, Stupid!

Willow:
Madmartigan, you never, ever drive that fast with an infant!

Madmartigan:
I just saved that infant's life!

Madmartigan:
Let me out of here, Airk. Give me a sword, I'll win this war for you.

Airk:
I still serve Galadorn, you serve no one. Remember? Just sit in your coffin and rot.

Madmartigan:
I'll be around long after you're dead! When I get out of here, I'm gonna cut your head off and stick it on a pig pole!

Madmartigan:
Well, looks like I got you here.

Franjean:
You? What did you do?

Rool:
All you did was hang around and eat our eggs.

Willow:
We found one of your babies in our village. Will you please take care of her?

Airk:
We're in battle, little ones. Find a woman to take care of her.

Madmartigan:
We thought you were a woman, Airk!

Willow:
Burglekutt, you're troll dung!

Madmartigan:
Don't let him talk to you that way, Burglekutt!

Franjean:
Don't play with that wand! It holds vast powers. Only a real sorcerer can use it, not a stupid peck like you.

Willow:
I found a boat. We're all set.

Madmartigan:
Good. Take these two lizards out and drown them.

Rool:
Lizards? Who you calling lizards? Grrr! Grrr! Your mother was a lizard!

Rool:
Rats! Big rats!

Franjean:
What? What? Oh, Rool, you and your stupid rat dreams.

Willow:
Burglekutt, I'm gonna...

Burgelcutt:
You're gonna what?

Burgelcutt:
AH HA HA HA HA!

Willow:
Some day, Burglekutt! Some day!

Madmartigan:
Mumbo, Jumbo, I am hungry. Go get me some eggs or something.

Franjean:
We are not afraid of you!

Madmartigan:
NOW!

Cherlindrea:
Elora Danan must survive. She must fulfill her destiny and destroy Queen Bavmorda. Her power grows like an evil plague. Unless she is stopped, Bavmorda will control the lives of your village, your children, everyone. All creatures of good heart need your help, Willow. The choice is yours.

Madmartigan:
Let me do that. Get away, rodents!

Franjean:
Take your hand off that! You leave that alone you stupid, fat Diakini!

High Aldwin:
I will consult the bones!

Madmartigan:
Gentlemen, meet Lug.

Airk:
Well, ha ha ha! Madmartigan. What'd you do this time?

Madmartigan:
Nothing you wouldn't have done in my place.

Airk:
I always knew you'd end up in a crow's cage.

Madmartigan:
Well at least I'm not down there herding sheep.

Willow:
What's that?

Madmartigan:
Smells like a battle.

Willow:
I suppose you're a warrior.

Madmartigan:
I am the greatest swordsman that ever lived. Say, um, can I have some of that water?

Madmartigan:
Burglekutt, let me out of here. I'll take care of the baby, I swear. Just let me out of here... Please. Vohnkar, let me borrow that spear just for a minute. Well... Well at least give me some water. Burglekutt, don't leave me alone here with these two! UHH! Well that was really stupid, Peck.

I stole the baby from you while you were taking a pee pee!!

Willow:
: You stupid hag! With my magic, I'll send her into the... into a...

Bavmorda:
: [Bavmorda laughs] You're no sorcerer!

Willow:
: Into a realm where evil cannot touch her!

Bavmorda:
: Impossible! There's no such place!

Madmartigan:
Well, looks like I got ya here.

Franjean:
You? What did you do?

Rool:
All you did was hang around, and eat our eggs! Eh?

Willow:
I found a boat, we're all set!

Madmartigan:
Good. Take these lizards out and drown'em!

Franjean:
Lizards?!? Who're you calling lizards?!? (Franjean and Rool growl threateningly)

Rool:
You're mother was a lizard!

Willow:
: Ouch! What'd you bite me for?

Fin Raziel:
: Three drops of your blood must be put in the potion.

Willow:
: Well, you could've warned me!

Madmartigan:
: Did I really... Did I really say those things, last night, in your tent?

Sorsha:
: You said you loved me.

Madmartigan:
: I don't remember that.

Sorsha:
: You lied to me.

Madmartigan:
: No, I... I just wasn't myself last night.

Sorsha:
: I suppose my power enchanted you and you were helpless against it.

Madmartigan:
: Sort of.

Sorsha:
: Then what?

Madmartigan:
: It... went away.

Sorsha:
: Went away? 'I dwell in darkness without you' and it went away?

Madmartigan:
: [about Elora] She is kinda cute... When she's quiet.

Willow:
: She's really a princess.

Madmartigan:
: Really? And you're a great sorcerer... And I'm the king of Cashmir. Go to sleep, Willow.

[Meeting Fin Raziel, who has been turned into a muskrat]

Rool:
: That's Raziel?

Franjean:
: I don't know, I expected something more grand, less...

Rool:
: Fuzzy.

Franjean:
: Fuzzy.

High Aldwin:
: [throws an apple into the air which turns into a bird] Go in the direction the bird is flying!

Burgelcutt:
: [relieved] He's going back to village!

High Aldwin:
: ...Ignore the bird! Follow the river.

Llug:
: Wanna breed?

Madmartigan:
: [disguised as a woman] Tempting... but no.

Burgelcutt:
: [Vohnkar has volunteered to accompany Willow on his quest] No - not Vohnkar! He's the best warrior in the village, we need him here. Vohnkar - step back!

High Aldwin:
All this expedition needs is a leader. And according to the bones, that leader is... you, Burgelkutt.

Burgelcutt:
: VOHNKAR!

Brownies “Keep walking hero. Don’t even turn around!”

Calm down willow, it's only a baby

Willow:
Her name is not 'Sticks'. She's Elora Danan, the future Empress of Tir Asleen...and the last thing she's gonna want is a hairy chest!

Willow:
Absolutely, under no condition whatsoever, is anyone in this family to fall in love with that baby!

Madmartigan:
Goodbye, Sticks. If you really are a princess, take care of him.

Madmartigan:
Well my mother raised me on blackroot. It's good for you. It puts hair on your chest, doesn't it, Sticks?

Madmartigan:
Let me out of here, Airk. Give me a sword, I'll win this war for you.

Madmartigan:
Get your hair out of my face or I'll chop it off.

Madmartigan:
Ooh, I'm really scared. No! Don't! There's a- a peck here with an acorn pointed at me!

Madmartigan:
"I love you, Sorsha?!" I don't love her, she kicked me in the face! I hate her! (confused/grabs his head).... don't I?

High Aldwin:
Magic is the bloodstream of the universe. Forget all you know, or think you know. All that you require is your intuition.

High Aldwin:
I will consult the bones!! [Disperses the bones on the ground, pausing for a moment, then whispering to Willow discreetly] ... The bones tell me... nothing.

Queen Bavmorda:
I didn't ask you to bring me a dead nursemaid. Sorsha, you're useless.

Queen Bavmorda:
General Kael, at last.

Queen Bavmorda:
You will do as I say, child.

Queen Bavmorda:
Why is it with my powers and the strength of my great army you cannot so much as find one - little - child?

Queen Bavmorda:
PREPARE FOR THE RITUAL!

Queen Bavmorda:
You dare to challenge me? You're not warriors. You're pigs! Toa thonna mondarr! Nocklith! Vohkbar! YOU'RE ALL PIGS! PIGS! PIGS!

Queen Bavmorda:
Traitor child. I must despise you now.

Queen Bavmorda:
Is that the extent of your power, little one?

Queen Bavmorda:
Now you will watch me call upon the power of the universe to send that child into the Netherworld! NOW PLACE IT ON THE ALTAR!

Queen Bavmorda:
You're a fool. I shall destroy you and the child with you.