Wishmaster

Narrator:
Once, in a time before time, God breathed life into the universe.

Wendy:
Now hold on a minute. Forget what our culture has made of the Djinn. Forget Barbara Eden. Forget Robin Williams. To the people of ancient Arabia, the Djinn was neither cute not funny. It was something else entirely. It was the face of fear itself.

Beaumont:
My God!

Djinn:
Not yet, human. Soon... very soon I will be.

Djinn:
Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to have unlimited power, and only be able to use it when some worm asks you for something?

Merritt's Guard:
No, I can't say that I do. I can't say that I give a sh*t, either.

Djinn:
My patience wears thin.

Djinn:
I don't need you dead, Alexandra. I just need you to wish you were.

Djinn:
Run, insect. Run and tell those you will, what you will. Tell them there is something loose in their city which feeds on wishes. But tell them quickly, while you still have a soul.

Djinn:
That which is eternal cannot die. But if it's any consolation to you, sweet Alex, THAT HURT LIKE HELL!

Djinn:
You wish to know what I am? To you, i am this: The cry of the abandoned child. The whimper of the whipped beast. I am the face that stares back at you from the shadowed mirror. The hollowness at the heart of all your hopes, Alexandra. I am despair.

Djinn:
Listen to their screams, child, listen to the music of their agony.

Djinn:
We have some unfinished business.

Alexandra Amberson:
It's gonna stay unfinished!

Nathaniel Demerest:
Step aside, doorman.

Johnny Valentine:
Doorman? The name is Valentine. Johnny Valentine. You'd better remember when they ask you how you lost your eye!

Djinn:
I claim that which is owed.

Homeless Man:
You left customers in there. That's not a very good way to run a business.

Pharmacist:
Don't you tell me how to run my business, you're a f***ing bum!

Homeless Man:
Well, you don't tell me how to run my life! You're a f***ing prick! I'll talk to whoever I want to! You don't own this f***ing sidewalk!

Pharmacist:
You wanna know something? I do own this f***in' sidewalk. You wanna know why? Cause I pay f***in' taxes!

Homeless Man:
F*** you!

Pharmacist:
No, f*** you!

Homeless Man:
I hope you die, you sack of sh*t. I hope you die, and I hope you float down the gutter, so I can f***in' piss on you!

Homeless Man:
You big, bald-headed baboon! Miscomplected afterbirth of a Chinese gang-banger! Educated idiot!

Alexandra:
Where's Wendy?

The Djinn:
Bedroom. But I wouldn't go in there if I were you. Messy. I needed her face.

Alexandra:
You killed her.

The Djinn:
Actually, I can't kill anyone. Not unless they wish me to. Your research should have told you that.

Alexandra:
She didn't wish to be dead, you lying sack of sh*t!

The Djinn:
I showed her my true face. Her reaction wasn't very flattering. As a matter of fact, she got downright hysterical! I merely asked if she wished to be released from her fear. You're a dangerous person to know, Alexandra. Your scientist friend, your boss, the policeman, Wendy. By the by-where is that tasty little sister of yours today? [licks upper lip slowly]

Alexandra:
What happens if I wished you dead?

The Djinn:
Why, how remarkably original of you, Alexandra. I'll tell you what. I'll give you one free wish. A sample. Just to get you in the spirit of the game.

Alexandra:
All right. I want you to destroy yourself. Blow your brains out. Right now

The Djinn:
Very well.

[He picks up a gun, presses it under his chin, and pulls the trigger, blowing off the top of his head.]

The Djinn:
[wound heals instantly, surprising Alexandra] That which is eternal cannot die. But if it's any consolation sweet Alex, THAT HURT LIKE HELL!

Wendy:
[referring to Raymond Beaumont] What an insufferable prick that man is. Still, it's not your problem. Unless, of course, you're stupid enough to be working for him.

Alexandra:
[shaking her head] No.

Wendy:
Or sleeping with him.

Alexandra:
[slightly disgusted] No.

Wendy:
Oh good. Well, that establishes your discerning good taste. [turns her attention to something else, then addresses Alex without looking at her] Uh-huh. What can I do for you?

Alexandra:
[assertively] Absolutely nothing at all until I can get your full attention.

Wendy:
[turns and stares at her, Alex stares right back] I like you.

Narrator:
Once, in a time before time, God breathed life into the universe. And the light gave birth to Angels. And the earth gave birth to Man. And the fire gave birth to the Djinn, creatures condemned to dwell in the void between the worlds. One who wakes a Djinn will be given three wishes. Upon the granting of the third, the unholy legions of the Djinn will be freed to rule the earth. Fear one thing in all there is...fear the Djinn.

The Djinn/Nathaniel Demerest:
[Nathaniel provokes a man into wishing he could "escape", and the man suddenly appears in a straitjacket inside a steel-and-glass box filled with water] Houdini did it in two and a half minutes.

The Djinn/Nathaniel Demerest:
So, how do you like me so far?