Witches of Eastwick

Mrs. Biddle:
It's right on the tip of my tongue. Well... isn't that diabolical?

Sukie Ridgemont:
What scares me isn't how short life is, no, it's the pain, all the pain. I don't understand why there has to be any pain.

Daryl Van Horne:
I see men, sixty, seventy years old breaking their balls to stay fit! What for? When I die, I want to be sick, not healthy.

Daryl Van Horne:
I always like a little p*ssy after lunch.

Alexandra Medford:
I don't think that men are the answer to everything.

Sukie Ridgemont:
No.

Jane Spofford:
Then why do we always end up talking about them?

Daryl Van Horne:
I see men running around trying to put their d*cks into everything, trying to make something happen... but it's WOMEN who are the source... the only power. Nature, birth, rebirth. Cliche? Cliche... sure... but true.

Alexandra Medford:
I think... no, I am positive... that you are the most unattractive man I have ever met in my entire life. You know, in the short time we've been together, you have demonstrated EVERY loathsome characteristic of the male personality and even discovered a few new ones. You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, you're morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humor and you smell. You're not even interesting enough to make me sick.

Daryl Van Horne:
Men are such cocksuckers aren't they? You don't have to answer that. It's true. They're scared. Their d*cks get limp when confronted by a woman of obvious power and what do they do about it? Call them witches, burn them, torture them, until every woman is afraid. Afraid of herself... afraid of men... and all for what? Fear of losing their hard-on.

Daryl Van Horne:
Do you think God knew what He was doing when He created woman? Huh? No sh*t. I really wanna know. Or do you think it was another one of His minor mistakes like tidal waves, earthquakes, FLOODS? You think women are like that? S'matter? You don't think God makes mistakes? Of course He does. We ALL make mistakes. Of course, when WE make mistakes they call it evil. When GOD makes mistakes, they call it... nature. So whaddya think? Women... a mistake... or DID HE DO IT TO US ON PURPOSE?

Sukie Ridgemont:
You're terrible!

Alexandra Medford:
No I'm not. I'm fabulous.

Daryl Van Horne:
You may think me crazy, but I know music. It's the one thing that makes me humble.

Daryl Van Horne:
Have another cherry.

Alexandra Medford:
Who are you?

Daryl Van Horne:
Just your average, horny little devil.

Daryl Van Horne:
Of course, I wouldn't know a snowy egret if I were pissing on one. Lunch?

Alexandra Medford:
I think it's a little late in the season.

Daryl Van Horne:
For lunch?

Alexandra Medford:
No, pissing on birds.

Daryl Van Horne:
Well, if that's how you feel about it, then that's how you feel about it. Is that how you feel about it?