Wrestling Ernest Hemingway

[Frank is admiring a waitress's ass]

Frank:
She's got a great backyard.

Walter:
I don't know. I've never been to her house.

Frank:
She's got a great ass.

Frank:
You don't have that problem, pal?

Walter:
Which problem?

Frank:
With your cucumber.

Walter:
I don't eat cucumbers, I always eat these bacon sandwiches.

[a very drunk Frank singing in the park]

Frank:
I'm sweet Willy McGhee, I set sail for the sea / A man fit for sailin', my cock's fit for whalin', my balls they weigh seventy pounds apiece! / If you know any ladies, that want to make babies, send them to see Willy McGhee.

Frank:
Take out your pecker and feed the Fish.

Walter:
What?

Frank:
Pee in the ocean.

Walter:
[as Frank flies past Walter and takes a running jump from the boat into the lake] You're naked, Frank.

Frank:
You never went skinny-dipping when you were a kid?

Walter:
Yes, but I wore a bathing suit.

Frank:
I got a book and a bottle of whisky. I think I'll take them to the park and see which one I finish first.

Helen Cooney:
I'll bet on the bottle.

Frank:
I wouldn't bet against you.

Frank:
[to Walter] You know you answer questions that nobody asks. You're a lot like a woman.

Frank:
I'm sober enough to know I was drunk.

Frank:
[to Walter] You've never said hello to a woman. How are you going to say goodbye?

Frank:
It's a sorry sea captain who has no whisky.

Frank:
You gotta have a partner to dance.

Frank:
You know, Walt, I've been married and divorced four times. I got lots of enemies, but I'm kind of short on friends.

Walter:
You have to pee too?

Frank:
I'm 75 years old. I always have to pee.

Frank:
that's life, Walt... that's what life does to you.