You, Me and Dupree

Toshi:
But Mr. Dupree, I don't play baseball. I'm in the orchestra.

Dupree:
First, call me Dupree. Second, so what if you're in the orchestra? So was Catfish Hunter.

Dupree:
[riding off on his bike] I'll be fine.

Carl:
What's with this Roman Holiday obsession? Your favorite movie is Fletch.

Dupree:
It's in my top five, but it's not my favorite.

Molly:
I don't know. I have a hard time imagining Audrey Hepburn getting buttered up to "Funky Cold Medina".

Dupree:
Really? I don't.

Carl:
And this whole Lance Armstrong thing...

Dupree:
You leave Lance out of this! He's doing more with one testicle than you and I could do with three!

Neil:
How the hell did Dupree wind up on the wrond island?

Carl:
Dupree was born on the wrong island.

Molly:
Did you know Dupree writes poetry?

Carl:
What a homo.

Dupree:
Carl, Carl! Wait, what are you doing?

Carl:
I'm running... trying to gain my wife back!

Dupree:
Carl... you have it all wrong. I'm trying to steal your wife. All I am is that loveable f***-up that everyone can help. You are just the loveable guy that is lucky for having a wife like Molly.

Carl:
I got news for you, Dupree. You're not that loveable.

Carl:
The insurance adjuster recommended that we sue Dupree.

Molly:
For a moose head?

Dupree:
[after falling on the skateboard] I've wracked my little Duprees!

Dupree:
The doctor said most of my injuries are emotional.

Dupree:
[during his job interview] I'm a people person, very responsible. I absolutely insist on enjoying life. Not so task-oriented. Not a work horse. If you're looking for a Clydesdale, I'm probably not your man. Like I don't live to work, it's more the other way around. I work to live. Incidentally, what's your policy on Columbus Day?

Interviewer:
We work.

Dupree:
Really? The guy discovered the new world. I'm afraid to even ask about Victory Over Japan Day.

Carl:
He's never truly been domesticated. He's like the ape-man of Borneo.

Dupree:
Everyone's asleep and here's lonely old Dupree wailing away on himself.

Molly:
You weren't wailing away...

Dupree:
An animal wouldn't debase himself such!

Carl:
What you did in the bathroom last night was disgusting.

Dupree:
I know, I'm never eating buffalo wings again.

Dupree:
I'm throwing seven different kinds of smoke!

Lance Armstrong:
[Having just read Dupree's book and breaking the forth wall] Lanceness Lance... ness? Lancennneeesss LanceNess [Very last lines after the credits]

Dupree:
[riding off on his bike] I'll be fine.

[almost immediately is knocked off by a car]