Zapped

Zoey Stevens:
[wedding speech] My mom always says that "change" is another word for "opportunity;" and, well, this is an opportunity... to live with four guys - four guys and their mysterious odors that they all blame on the dog.

Zoey Stevens:
Can we just establish a few ground rules here? One, if you're not wearing pants, please stay out of my personal space bubble, okay? And, two, if a girl is in the bathroom, the girl should be allowed to remain alone in the bathroom.

Zoey Stevens:
Mom, is it going to be like this every day before school?

Jeannie Stevens:
No. No... Maybe. We are used to doing things a certain way, and the boys are used to doing things... a totally different way.

Zoey Stevens:
A-a-are you... are you kidding me? Did anyone see that? You just fart on someone with impunity at this school?

Rachel Todds:
Sadly, I think you can. The school charter makes no mention of farts. They're technically legal.

Zoey Stevens:
So, uh... here we are... in the hallway... lookin' at each other.

Taylor Dean:
I don't like to laugh out loud because I believe it's a sign of weakness; but, just so you know, in my head I am laughing right now. I'm laughing so hard, I'm literally throwing up in my own brain.

Yuki:
Total brain hurl.

Principal Mumford:
I'm confused. Why is the JV squad better? Why didn't you just dump all the, you know, dance-challenged kids on JV like other sports do.

Taylor Dean:
Everything is upside-down. It's like... Australia.

Jackson Kale:
The club meets here instead of on campus. Less likelihood of meathead jocks sticking pawns up their noses.

Zoey Stevens:
Why do all boys do that? Everything is a sport. It's like you have to pretend to be competitive with each other as an excuse to enjoy each other's company.

Jackson Kale:
Oh, unlike girls, who pretend to enjoy each other's company as an excuse to be competitive with each other?

Adam Thompson:
Boys can be a pain but... we come around... eventually.

Zach:
Dude, how can I cook when you are always cleaning?

Ben:
How can I clean if you're always cooking?