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It had been a very bad idea. I ’d had plenty of bad ideas in my twenty-three years, but this one was uniquely ill-conceived. I ’d told Chris Jackson/Getty Images Harry that I wanted closure, but I did n’t really. Deep down, I ’d hoped to feel in that tunnel what I ’d felt when JLP [ Jamie Lowther Pinkerton, former private secretary to Chris Jackson/Getty Images Harry and Prince William ] gave me the police files — disbelief. Doubt. Instead, that was the night all doubt fell away, i ’d thought driving the tunnel would bring an end, or brief cessation, to the pain, the decade of unrelenting pain. Instead, it brought on the start of Pain, Part Deux.

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