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[Archival footage of Manchester United playing has Jess artificially spliced in making a goal] Sportscaster: ..and there is Bhamra. It's a fine header, and she's scored! It's a goal by Jess Bhamra! A superb header, beating the defender,and planting the ball beyond the goalkeeper's left hand. Jess Bhamra makes a name for herself at Old Trafford! [Sports anchors are in a studio]: Sportscaster: And have we discovered a new star here, Gary Lineker? Gary: That's right. John? John: Absolutely.. hehe. Gary: Could Bhamra be the answer to England's prayers? Alan? Alan: Quick thinking, comfortable on the ball, vision and awareness - magnificent. Tell you what, I wish she was playing for Scotland! Gary: John, have England found the player to relive their World Cup glory from '66? John: Definitely, and the best thing is, she's not even reached her peak yet. Anchor: We're joined now by Jess's mother. You must be proud of your daughter. Mrs. Bhamra: Not at all! She shouldn't be showing her bare legs to 70,000 people! She's bringing shame on the family. And you three shouldn't be encouraging her! [Mrs. Bhamra faces the camera] Jesminder, you get back home now! [Scene changes to Jess' bedroom who is watching TV.] Are you listening to me? Have you gone mad? Football, shootball! Your sister's getting engaged, and you're watching this skinhead boy! Jess: Mum, it's Beckham's corner! Mrs. Bhamra: Eh, come downstairs, and your sister's going crazy. Pinky: I've got to go! Mum, where are my keys? Jess: I'm sick of this wedding and it hasn't even started! Pinky: That girl is a first-class bitch! Mrs. Bhamra: Pinky, you've got so many others! Pinky: It was all planned now I gotta get another one! [To Jess] Will you get a flaming move on! Jess: What the bloody hell's going on? Pinky: Get this yeah? Teet's bloody sister says she's wearing baby pink now. Stupid flipping cow! I had matching accessories and everything! Jess: Oh, Mum, do I have to go shopping again? Mrs. Bhamra: Ah! My mother chose all my 21 dowry suits herself. I never once complained. You girls are too spoilt! And don't forget my dhania. And more carrots. I'm making achar. Both Jess and Pinky simultaneously: Oh, Mum, don't do pickle as well! Mrs. Bhamra: Oh, am I asking you to make it?! ... [Pinky walks up to 3 friends in a store] Girl 1: Hi, Pinks! Are you all right? Girl 2: You haven't left everything to the last minute, have you? Pinky: Yeah. One more day of freedom! [leans in to observe a girl's face] Where did you get your contacts? Girl 2: Do you like 'em? Thought they go with my hair innit? Pinky: My fiance don't like dyed hair. Can't stand here all day. I got to go to Ealing for my facial. Later! Girls: Bye, Pinks. Later. Pinky: [Speaking to Jess under breath when leaving store] Stupid bitch! Why did she get blue contacts? Now I can't wear mine! ... Jules: I'd never wear that! Mrs. Paxton: They're all the rage, poppet! You blow 'em up, just like a lilo. Look, this little pump comes free with it. Pop it in the valve, pump away, up it goes, then slip it back in there...[Holds up bra looking proud]..and boom! Cleavage! They're perfect while you're still growing 'cause they lift you right there. [Grabs Jules breasts] Jules: Mum! God, you're so embarrassing! Mrs. Paxton: They make more of what you've got. All the girls have bought one for their daughters. The Fleur's pretty, and the gel bra's a clever one - no pumping, it's already in there. Not the sports bras! They're so plain! They don't enhance. Jules: No one's going to see them. Mrs. Paxton: It's not how they look, it's how they make you feel. I really like that lace lycra one. ... Pinky: Uh-oh, there's your mate. I hope his mum wears a cardi over her three stomachs tomorrow! Jess: Shut up! She's old. Pinky: So? All right, Jess? Tony: Hiya, Pinky. Tony's mother: May you have a long life, my daughters! Getting ready for tomorrow? Pinky: Yes, Massiji. Mum's making samosas. Tony's mother: May God keep you and your husband in endless happiness! And pray for me that I get a lovely daughter-in-law like you for my Tony. Pinky: Aw, thank you, Massiji! OK, bye, Yeah? Tony: How was biology?Did you do the genetics one? Jess: Yes, she was the defective carrier passed the defective gene onto her son. Tony: Yeah, I got that, too. Jess: I hope I got my 2 Bs and my A for my uni.

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