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Tom: The difference between rock stars and stand-up comedians is as follows: women don't rush the stage and holler at comics, "This is your child!" Also, if women throw their underwear on stage for comics - it's because they want it fluffed, folded and back by Friday.

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    Quiz

    Are you a quotes master?

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    "Not all those who wander are lost."
    A J. R. R. Tolkien
    B Marl Twain
    C Maya Angelou
    D Agatha Christie