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Oancitizen: [Gerry Damon climbs onto Gerry Affleck] Hey, pointless sex. I feel like I'm at home. Oh wait, no, Damon is strangling Affleck. Yeah, the reason he does this is because those guys in real life did it. Remember, this is based on a true story, which is about things that happened in newspapers and real life. Wait, does real life exist? Who's the president? What does water taste like?

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    "Tonight we dine in hell!"
    A Gladiator
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    D Braveheart