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Col. Robert E. Hogan: I've got a present for you from Carter. He's made you an honorary Chief of the Sioux tribe. [He gives Schultz a feather headdress]Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: [Very excitedly] It's Bee-yoo-ti-ful! [He puts it on and looks in a mirror]Col. Robert E. Hogan: He's also given you a new name, Schultz. You are now Big Chief Running Bear Who Goes Swift And Sure To Beer Garden. [Klink enters the room]Col. Wilhelm Klink: [Outraged] Or, you could be Big Fat Schultz Who Goes Swift And Sure To The Russian Front!

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