[Witness for the Persecution: Frank Reynolds] Charlie: Ladies and gentlemen, distinguished collies, my client Frank here isn't really on trial today, you know. Common sense is on trial... and well, common sense would tell you that eatin' a bowl of cereal while operating a car is- well, it's reckless. It's moronic. One might even call it... donkey-brained. Dennis: "Donkey-brained"? Charlie: It- it means to have the brains of a donkey or a donkey-type creature- Dennis: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I know what it means, guy. But if anything, it's not donkey-brained to drive around with a bowl of cereal, it's donkey-brained to drive around without the use of your vision. Charlie: Oh, that's- that's interesting. So you do admit that someone who makes foolish decisions could be considered donkey-brained? Dennis: Uh- yeah, okay. Sure. Fine. Charlie: I'll take it! Now, Frank, if I'm correct, when you were a boy you were admitted into a... mental institution, is that correct? Frank: That's correct. But soon after, it was discovered that I wasn't mentally disabled, so they let me go... and they let me go with the proper paperwork, clearing me of everything. Charlie: I would like to add into evidence Article 1. Uh, Mac, will you please read this document? Mac: Mhm. "By the power of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, Reid Mental Institution hereby decrees Frank Reynolds to not have... donkey brains". [shows everyone the certificate] Dee: What? Dennis: What is that? Dee: That is an official document that says "donkey brain" on it? Charlie: Well, it's written right here in plain English! Frank, would you like to clear this up for everybody? Frank: Well... all the kids in the neighborhood knew I got sent upstate, so they started calling me Frankie Donkey-Brains, and it was very traumatic. So I got my mommy to drive me back up to the loony bin, where they signed this official certificate exonerating me of all donkey brains. Dennis: Yeah, great- what does this have to do with anything? Charlie: Oh, well, Dennis, if by your own admission someone who has donkey brains could be considered reckless or moronic or idiotic, and my client Frank here has a state-issued certificate clearing him of having said donkey brains, then I ask you this: do... you have any such certificate? Dennis: ...What? Charlie: Well, we don't want a donkey on the road eating cereal! We know Frank's not a donkey! How do we know you're not a donkey-brained man? Dennis: Why would I have a certificate- Charlie: You don't have a certificate? Dennis: No, no, no, the burden of proof is not on me. Mac: The defendant will answer the question! Dennis: The defendant-? I'm not the defendant! Charlie: Just answer the question. Dennis: ...No. Charlie: No further questions! [everyone except Dennis puts their gavels on the Trial Meter to Frank's side] Dennis: You gotta be kidding me- because of that?! Mac: You don't have a certificate. I mean, y'know, what else are we supposed to... you may have donkey brains, I don't know. Dennis: No one can prove they're not donkey-brained except for him! Dee: I just- I wish you had a certificate.

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