Lynn: Where'd the roach go?
Willie: It ran under the bag.
Kate: Somebody step on it.
Brian: There it goes. Look, it has blue eyes.
ALF: Of course it does. It's a roach. Haven't you ever heard the expression, "her eyes were as blue as a roach's"?
Kate: Would somebody just squash it!
Willie: Wait a minute, Kate. This thing came all the way from Melmac. It's a unique specimen.
Kate: We already have a unique specimen from Melmac.
ALF: You're comparing me to a cockroach?
Kate: I'm going to get the spray.
ALF: Answer me!
Brian: But, mom, wait. I want to take it to show and tell.
Kate: It will be just as interesting dead.
Willie: No, no, here's what we should do. We should catch it. I'll build a little box. We'll put a piece of doughnut right in the middle. Then you guys make sure ALF doesn't get the doughnut before the roach does. Then I'll-[Kate sprays the roach with insecticide]
Lynn: Never mind the box.
ALF: You mentioned something about a doughnut?
Lynn: ALF, we are trying to figure out what to do with the roach.
ALF: Why? It's gone.
Willie: What?
Lynn: Look, it's not there anymore.
Kate: Where did it go?
Brian: Maybe you didn't spray it enough.
Kate: I used half a can.
ALF: I'll be right back.
Lynn: Where are you going?
ALF: I'm going to call a doughnut place that delivers.
Kate: Come on everybody. We are going to find that roach.
Willie: Kate, calm down.
Kate: Calm down? There is a space-roach loose in our house.
Lynn: Well maybe it went somewhere to die with dignity.
ALF: Psst. Willie.
Willie: Yeah, all right, Alf, you can order the doughnuts.
ALF: I already did. But that's not why I said, "psst."
Willie: Why did you say, "psst"?
ALF: Just come out here.
Willie: What is all this secrecy about?
ALF: I didn't want to upset Kate.
Willie: What is it that would upset Kate?
ALF: I believe a foot-long cockroach would upset Kate. [he points] Ol' blue eyes is back. [he screeches]
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