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#1. The man in front of you today is a mortician, The patient died on the operating table. If you think the patient should have lived, ask the surgeons. #2. I am here to jumpstart your mind from lethargy. #3. I believe you are familiar with carnal knowledge? The concept that is, not the practical part. Someone with experience? Legal experience you dirty minded fools! #4. The only difference between you and a cow is what I teach you. #5. Most women would prefer the sperm of a law professor to that of a law student. #6. We are not authorities in law. By ‘we’ I mean ‘you’. Some of you might be tempted to think that we are in the same category! #7. You call me Sir and I call you Sir. The only difference is that YOU will mean it while I don't! #8. Not even the devil knows what a man is thinking, leave alone a woman. #9. I agree with the Honourable Justice Kwach, that the legal profession is in danger of being infiltrated by peasants. #10. For the purposes of my lectures, all time will be in GMT and only my Swiss watch will apply. #11. If your female client is going to be convicted of murder, make sure she’s pregnant. Why are you laughing? Of course, I don’t mean that you should be the one making sure! #12. I radiate knowledge because I am in intellectual puberty and not intellectual menopause.