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There was a time when I was just consumed with emotion. I couldn't explain to myself why - as a megalomaniac - I felt so sad, embittered, isolated, powerless, ... stuff like that. I even called my Mom to talk to her to see if she had any insight. She did. Her explanation was that I wasn't doing what I supposed to be doing, but instead I was running from it, and that was what was leaving me feeling desolate. The lesson imparted was that ambition is inversely commensurate with a person's guilt; if the trip frustrates you, it's because the world is not yet in your image.