Adventure Time, Season 8

[Jake comes inside the dead hermit's yurt]

Finn:
I know it's you. [see hermit-eyes Finn in his giant, deep-red monstrous form staring the opposite wall]

Jake:
Hey, buddy. I've figured you'd come back here.

Finn:
Don't look at me, Jake. I might turn you into a microwave.

Jake:
Baloney! [walks to him] You turned NEPTR into a microwave because he's a microwave, but that doesn't mean that's all he is to you. I know you think NEPTR's an interesting person, and I know that microwave is just one part of his personality! I mean... Maybe your eyes are just bad at describing things, you know? Like, how you feel about people, what they mean to you. That stuff's in your guts. Eyes can't grok that. Unless you have the eyes of like, a trained artist or something. But you don't. I'm telling you, man. You're not a bad dude like the skeleton bro, or you'd be turning everyone into rats and plops!

[Finn takes up a deep gasping sigh]

Jake:
Now, come on. Look at me. [he turns Finn around to him face to face]

Finn:
Jake, you're so wise. [Jake's college bro form then suddenly shrinks down to a much older form with a cane]

Jake:
What?! Deh— [groans] Well, at least you listened to me. And wise old Jakey got a plan!

[Finn and Bun Bun approaching the Fire Kingdom]

Flame Guard:
Hey, Finn.

Cinnamon Bun:
Make way for the Princess!

Flame Princess:
Finn! What brings you here?

Finn:
Special delivery for Cinnamon Bun.

Flame Princess:
Who's this?

Bun Bun:
I'm Bun Bun. Are you a chipmunk?

Flame Princess:
No...

Finn:
[whispering to Cinnamon Bun] Bubblegum made her from your spare parts. She's supposed to be your squire or whatever.

Cinnamon Bun:
[amazed] My squire?

[Finn and Flame Princess hanging out]

Flame Princess:
Is something wrong with your coals?

Finn:
Well, they're fine. It's just... [takes a breath] When we broke up, I said sorry but I didn't fully understand exactly what I did wrong. I get it now. I shouldn't have manipulated you. That was a really, really messed up thing to do and I'm truly sorry.

Flame Princess:
[sees how much Finn has grown up] You've grown up a lot, man. [beat] I forgive you.

Finn:
Awesome. [makes fun of eating his coals]

Flame Princess:
[chuckles]

[Finn, Jake and Lady Rainicorn come across a giant humming sentient pit]

Finn:
It's a face hole! This is where the song's coming from. [the pit blows them away] Oh, nice pipes.

Hole:
[speaks] "Wait, can you hear me?"

Finn:
I've been hearing you like, all day. You're a lovely singer.

Hole:
[laughs] "Really? No one's ever said that. Shut up!"

Finn:
It's true!

Hole:
"Well, I've had a lot of practice. Thousand years, give or take."

Finn:
Say whaaaa?!!

Hole:
"Yeah. I've been here singing from the very beginning of Ooo. Since I can't move from this spot, singing is my only outlet. I can neither participate, enjoy nor prevent disaster. So I sing."

Jake:
Is this like one of those patterns that's supposed to have a 3D image in it, and everyone can see it except you?

Finn:
Well, why can't they hear you?

Hole:
"Only two kinds of people can hear my song—those who see the world with pure childlike wonder, and those with a deep sense of loss in their hearts. To everyone else, I'm just a period in a sentence in the book of Ooo."

Finn:
I don't know about child eyes, but I have been going through a rough patch. It sounds like you have, too.

Hole:
"Yeah, I guess so."

Finn/Hole:
[singing] With the sorrow in our hearts we can play

And I look up to you

And we hear different sounds than the heart last due

Wake for that night looking everywhere for you

Why do I look up to you?

Jake:
[confronts Grass Finn for trashing the Fort] You scared Beemo, you mock up my mom's records, and you waste my brea— [Grass Finn turns away from Jake, he comes in front of him] You waste my breakfast sy— [Grass Finn turns away again] Breakfast syrup! Hey! Look at me when I'm mad! [Grass Finn keeps turning away from Jake] Look at my eyes! They're mad! And they have to look in your— HEY!! THEY HAVE TO LOOK IN YOUR EYES!! Take my anger into your face! You're a fraud! You think you could fake Jake?! You can't fake Jake! Cake! Rake! [claps] Lake! Hamburger steak!

[Grass Finn throws Finn on the sand from "harming" Susan; starts punching Finn in the face]

Finn:
Alright, alright, enough! Truce, truce! Ah... [both take a breather]

Grass Finn:
Sorry, dog, but I can't let you hurt Susan. [Finn growls angrily]

Finn:
I wasn't gonna hurt her! [looks up] I was protecting her from you!

Grass Finn:
..Me? But... I'm Finn Mertens, man. I'm a hundred percent hero. Everyone knows that.

Finn:
What?! I'm Finn Mertens!

Grass Finn:
Tsk, tsk, tsk. Sorry, man. I mean, I'm flattered, but... come on.

Finn:
No, you come on!!

[in the Candy Kingdom hospital, Finn sees a comatose Susan hooked up on life support. He takes a deep breath and sighs]

Finn:
I'm sorry I couldn't stop you earlier. I lost control. And I realized when my arm went all nasty, that being out-of-control like that was so scary a-and painful. And that's how you must've felt after your brain jazz got fried by that eel, and you went bonkers on everyone. I wasn't strong enough to stop you. [crosses fingers with his metal ones] In a way, this is all my fault.

Finn:
[doing doctoring duties] Okay, where's the next patient?

Doctor:
In here, Doctor. [Finn pulls the curtains to see Ice King lying down on a hospital table]

Ice King:
Hey, baby... what?! Where's Doctor Princess? I just wanted some TLC from a cute gal. [Finn takes out his pen and clipboard]

Finn:
So, uh... how's your, uh... general condition?

Ice King:
My back is in agony like always, [Finn nods nonchalantly] my toes taste like candy corn, is that bad? And everything smells like liquorice, [Finn jumps up high and lands behind Ice King] expect for liquorice which smells like— [Finn grabs Ice King's shoulder and bottom; breaks his back in half] Ahh!! [he gets uneven, Finn comes over]

Finn:
How do you feel, Ice King?

Ice King:
I... feel... great! Ohh, mama! [flies up doing a loop] I feel 500 years old again! [laughing happily] Hey, we should hit the town! Go dancing... [Finn looks himself in the mirror]

Finn:
[thinking] "Doctor Finn... this feels pretty right."

Mr. Pig:
[sees Tree Trunks in bed] Hey, where'd you go?

Tree Trunks:
I-I think I was visited by aliens again. Uh, every few years, they stop by and show me my hybrid children.

Mr. Pig:
[chuckles] What?

Tree Trunks:
Don't be jealous of my alien consorts, Mr. Pig. I love you the most.

Mr. Pig:
Haha... all right, sweetie. Thank you. [they both kiss, goes to pull lamp cord] You're gonna come with me to Princess Bubblegum's firework show tomorrow?

Tree Trunks:
No, she whizzed on our wedding. I'm sorry, but she's a fat fish in the sand.

Mr. Pig:
I want to see free fireworks, though, and I want you to come with me.

Tree Trunks:
Ah, all right. [spanks Mr. Pig squealing]

[Bubblegum and Tree Trunks walk along in the evening grass after being abducted by aliens]

Bubblegum:
I'm really sorry, Tree Trunks. I never meant to hurt anybody with my space program. It was supposed to seed new Candy Kingdoms on uninhabited planets, in case Ooo goes straight-up dong-bongles. 'Cause... like, confidentially, there's a lot of ways that could happen. And when it does, maybe I won't look so crazy after all, you know? [Tree Trunks looks up at the alien spheres in the sky]

Tree Trunks:
I can help you find a space for your goo. [Bubblegum turns to Tree Trunks]

Bubblegum:
You would do that?

Tree Trunks:
You and I will never be friends, but we can respect each other as mothers and as fellow believers in the infinite promise of the cosmos above.

Bubblegum:
..Sure.

[Finn looks back at an empty and emotionally traumatised James Baxter as he makes herbal tea]

Finn:
Oh my Glob... James Baxter is in my house! [Shelby pops out of teapot]

Shelby:
Hey, Finn, you... you look a little nervous.

Finn:
That's James Baxter out there! He's an artist! What if I say something dumb and he's like, "Man, that dude is so dumb, why am I even here"?

Shelby:
Just treat him like a normal guy. That's what people want, even great artists.

Finn:
Okay, yeah. [walks off] Normal, normal.

[Finn brings the teapot, a water bucket and towel to James Baxter, places them down on the floor. He dips towel in the bucket, twists towel and pats it on James Baxter's head. Finn sees James Baxter's empty stare for a long pause]

Finn:
Normal, normal. [tries a deep voice] So, uh, you got any weekend plans? Doin' anything fun for the weekend? [dips towel in bucket]

Shelby:
You're really bad at this, man.

Finn:
[tends to James Baxter] Want some soup? I made it out of ice cream sandwich.

[Shelby slithers on Finn's head]

Shelby:
You're still being weird.

Finn:
Well, what am I supposed to do?

Shelby:
You gotta slap him, dude.

Finn:
Wha?

Shelby:
Slap him with some real time.

Finn:
Oh...

Shelby:
Stab him.

Finn:
What?!

Shelby:
With a giant syringe.

Finn:
Wha—?!

Shelby:
Of respect.

Finn:
Ohh...

Bubblegum:
Finn, I get the sense that this trip's more important to you than your letting on. I mean, if you make it to that island, you might find out some pretty heavy stuff... about the humans, and where you came from, about yourself. Alls I'm saying is you have to promise me, promise me, that you'll come home safe.

Finn:
[in his mind before advancing the giant hovercraft] You got this, Finn Mertens. You're a buff little bionic baby.

Jake:
We don't need a boat! Have you forgotten? With a little imagination, [morphs himself as a sailing cruise ship] I can be anything that you could everrrr... [he morphs back to normal] Oh, I lost focus. Hey, yeah, can we borrow your boat?

[Finn is sitting on the rooftop of the Tree Fort, drinking his cup under an orange sky]

Finn:
Are ya up here, Fern? [Fern emerges up the grassy roof, sits beside Finn]

Fern:
Hey. Thanks for letting me crash on the roof. It's nice up here.

Finn:
Stay as long as you want. I came up here to ask a favor. I... might be gone for a while on this trip, see, and I need someone to... uh, cover for me here anew. [Fern pauses for a beat]

Fern:
Are you sure? I mean, hero biz is your whole thing... and whatever I am, I'm not you.

Finn:
You can just do your own thing with it. Like... if some huge gross monster's gonna do murder on a bunch of innocents, uh... kill it! But kill it you-styles. Just don't go nuts.

Fern:
Okay. [summons his grass sword, curls back into his arm] I can handle that. Thanks for trusting me.

Finn:
No, thank you, Fern. I better go pack.

[they both high-five, then Finn slaps Fern's hand awkwardly and touches his face; Fern grabs Finn's arm. He grumbles]

Finn/Fern:
We should figure out a better thing. / Let's figure out something better.

Jake:
[on the sea as a boat] Finn, I wanna turn back.

Finn:
What? We can't!

Jake:
An annoying dragon wrecked our boat, I got poisoned by jellyfish and saw our dead parents. I don't see things de-escalating.

Finn:
It's just a small bump. A-a bunch of small bumps.

Jake:
No dumb island can be worth the risk!

Finn:
Maybe not. But I can't turn back.

BMO:
This trip means a lot to you, huh?

Finn:
Yeah.

Jake:
Yeah, but why? Do you wanna find some humans and ditch us?

Finn:
No! It's just... uh... [covers his mouth, starts crying] Okay... look... I'm really happy in Ooo. I love our mom and dad. But I don't know squat about humans. If I don't see this through, part of me will always be stuck to that boom boom leaf where Mom found me... still alone.

Finn:
[wearing seed packets around his face] Now I can look like an idiot while I freeze to death.

Finn:
[encounters a giant bear] Giant bear? Come on! I fought the Lich at the edge of spacetime, man. You're out of your depth. You best just roll on, brah.

[Finn and Alva ride on the giant bear to see Jake fighting a giant crab on the shore]

Finn:
Jake! Hey, Jake!

Jake:
Oh, hey, buddy! Man, am I glad to see you. Hold on a second. [kicks giant crab away, turns to Finn, Alva and the giant bear] Man, this place sucks. I got attacked by nineteen giant crabs in just the last 30 seconds!

Finn:
Yeah, man. I almost got eaten by this—

Jake:
Hey, that's awesome! Now let's get the heck outta here. Are they coming, too? I'm not sharing my rations.

Finn:
What? No, this is Alva. I... I-I think she's human. [starts drawing down his notebook] Alva, have you seen my friends? BMO... and Susan?

[he shows his crude illustrations of BMO and Susan to Alva; she slowly shakes her head]

Jake:
Oh, stuff, man. That's the slow shake. That's the universal death gesture!

Alva:
Nej, nej! [as she speaks in Swedish, she begins drawing wave lines, a shape and a compass. She waves her arm and draws three more that are shaped like islands]

Finn:
Oh! Shoot, man, more islands. BMO and Susan must've washed all up on one of all up of them.

Jake:
Well, it looks like there's only three more. This shouldn't be too hard. [long pause] Right?

Finn:
[entering the virtual reality world named "Better Reality"] Oh, wow. This place is objectively interesting.

[BMO's avatar @MOD (a giant masculine body with three eyepatches) carries Finn and Jake's avatars to his sanctuary. A green, small-rounded, big nosed avatar named Vinny greets them]

Vinny:
Well, look who it is! Welcome back to your palace, your majesty.

BMO:
Hi, Vinny! [slowly lowers Finn and Jake's avatars on the floor]

Vinny:
Who's Vinny? I thought I was hereby known as "Get in heeyah!"

BMO:
I deserve that. I'm sorry I yelled at you. [touches a virtual screen] I've just been so zip-zopped-out over the bip-bops.

Finn:
What?

Vinny:
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Who let these two system dumps into the chat room? Know what I'm saying?!

BMO:
Yes, I do, Vinny. BRB. [opens a giant hole] I'm gonna go deep dope my ping-pong zilp-zorch.

Finn:
What?

BMO:
Vinny, can you hook my friends up with some BMO brand avies? [enters hole, closes]

Vinny:
What's the magic password? [BMO opens hole]

BMO:
Please, Vinny. [closes hole]

Vinny:
You got it, boss!

Finn:
[having a talk with BMO] So, you really don't want to come with us?

BMO:
You sure you don't want me to milk you up a fresh new style?

Finn:
No, I'm used to it now. Why don't you want to come with us?

BMO:
I mean, I do want to go with you. But I am a beautiful, big man here. All of my instincts are in sync with this computer world. I'm really comfortable here.

Finn:
Yeah, but it's all fake.

BMO:
What's real? Your eyeballs think the sky is blue, but that's just sun rays farting apart through the barf of our atmosphere. The sky is black.

Dr. Gross:
We had to leave our place because the world was dying

And everyone that wasn't dead spent all of their time crying

Our ways had failed, nature had failed, we made a lot of errors

The Founders had some new ideas that made everything better.

[Kara (Susan) and Frieda lie down and gaze up in the sky full of stars on top of their quarters]

Frieda:
You know, there are people on the other side of the world that are never gonna see these stars. [she waves her hand across the starry sky]

Kara:
..That's bunk, Frieda. We're the only people left. The islands are like a beautiful safe haven. [Frieda sees a shooting star, contemplates]

Frieda:
I've read all the old stories about 'em, you know? About other places and people. I'd like to see those places one day, and meet those people. They can't all be monsters. [Kara is shocked, whispers to her]

Kara:
You can't say that, Frieda.

Frieda:
Oh, relax. I'm just globbin'. Hey, watch this.

[she turns on her wrist gadget and forms a projection of a sparkling Kara doing poses. Kara walks to the projection chuckling]

Kara:
That's not what I look like.

Frieda:
Yeah, it is! Come on, flex! [Kara tries a pose; she chuckles] See?

Kara:
Wow! Am I really that buff? I look great! Don't you just love this place?

Frieda:
Yeah... [sighs, depressed] Yeah.

[Kara takes a walk down a corridor. She sees Dr. Gross in the classroom tinkering a gadget]

Kara:
Dr. Gross?

Dr. Gross:
Kara! My teacher's pet. And you know I mean that in a good way.

Kara:
Listen, um... sorry about running off earlier.

Dr. Gross:
When you gotta go, you gotta go. But that's not really what you wanna talk about, right?

Kara:
Well, you know how you always say that humans will find the best way?

Dr. Gross:
The Founders get credit for that bit of wisdom.

Kara:
If someone found a way, that's, uh, different from ours, but seems to work for them, couldn't that also be a good way?

Dr. Gross:
Ah. You've heard some Hider preaching, haven't you? Well, listen, kid. We tried exploring the outside world, and we were almost destroyed! We're the last humans, so it's our responsibility to stay here, and it's your responsibility to help these misguided Hiders.

Kara:
[unsure] ..Right.

Finn:
Susan? I mean, Kara? Seems like you're leading us somewhere.

Kara:
We're taking a ship to Founders Island, because judging by the state of these facilities... [punches through a facility door] Hub Island has been abandoned for over a decade. Dang, I missed big words. [enters a seaport full of rundown ships] This island is where I trained to be a Seeker.

[Kara squeezes herself in the only working ship followed by Finn]

Finn:
So, wait, why are we going to Founders Island? [Kara sits down]

Kara:
I'm taking you back to your mom. BMO, would you talk to this console? I can't access it without my implant. [Finn is slowly shellshocked]

Finn:
Um, you knew my mom?! You're gonna just drop that?!

Kara:
Her name is Minerva. She's a Helper. [BMO completes configuration] Oh, thanks, BMO. Now let's try and start this sucker.

Singer:
I heard that you loved me but only for two weeks

To be hopeless or not to be, I'm weak with indecision

Could we begin again on a terrible date?

It would be greatly appreciated by me.

Minerva:
Your world seems so chaotic. Your ruler's a piece of gum, your friend's a vampire, you dated a bit of fire. Your life is constantly in danger!

Finn:
It's my home. It's where I belong.

Minerva:
As your mother, I think you belong somewhere safe. It's not your responsibility to fight monsters all the time. Let the grass kid do it, or the vampire girl. Minerva Bot 5, ready the cloud chamber. [Minerva Bot 5 carries the cloud chamber out of the water] Now, be a good boy and get into this machine so it can juice up your precious essence.

[Finn gasps, Jake spits his desserts and eats some more. Finn breathes in and out with his eyes closed]

Finn:
Mom, not only am I not getting juiced, I'm gonna leave this place and take everyone to freedom! [they both leave]

Minerva:
Okay, sweetie, but I think you'll find everyone's pretty happy here.

[on the ship home, Finn puts on the "Better Reality" VR headset. He finds himself in his former childhood home]

Finn:
Hmm. Homey.

Minerva:
It was. [Finn turns to see Minerva and they hug each other] Take care of yourself in Ooo. Be careful when you're eating blueberries. Too many can hurt your tummy. [she then starts dissipating] Your ship is moving out of range.

Finn:
Is this really you? Once you uploaded your brain and stuff, like, are you still the same person?

Minerva:
I don't know for sure, but I feel like it's me. I hope that's enough.

[she dissipates and everything around Finn fades to black. The real Finn takes a moment as a single tear streams down his cheek]

Finn:
..Goodbye.